Friday, October 23, 2009

I still have congestion in my ears and it is driving me batty. The pain gets really bad then it almost goes away then comes back. Right now there is not much pain but a lot of pressure. Too late to take Sinutab unless I want to stay up all night.

Jax has been very quiet lately. He wanted to go for a bike ride after school today so I suggested that he call his friend to meet him. He said that he did not want to and off he went. After he came back, I asked him why he did want to call his friend because normally he would jump at the chance and it was like I opened a faucet and Jax just started blurting out all of these things.

Jax told me that he did not think that his friend was a very good friend and he is not sure that he wants to be around him anymore. He says his friend is bossy and calls Jax a wimp if he does not want to do something. Jax also explained that his friend never wants to do what other people suggest and if they are playing a game and the friend gets bored, the friend will then ruin it for everyone else (clear the board if a boardgame or throw the cards if it is a card game or turn off the video game). His friend also said that he thought tennis was stupid and if he is around when my kids are playing, he will purposefully try to stop the game by riding his bike or scooter across the court. The last time we were all together, his friend asked if in hockey could you "do this" and he pushed Dex's head so hard that Dex started to cry (I wish I had known that had happened but Dex did not say anything to me!).

I am feeling so torn for a number of reasons. Jax is again feeling as though he is friendless, especially since he has decided that he does not want to be friends with this boy at the moment. Jax has always thought this was his best friend and now he is feeling so torn. He cried after he gushed everything out. We then talked about what great qualities that he has and how he can work on being a better friend to others and how best to approach people. He said he liked one kid in his class but he hangs out with "bad" kids so Jax doesn't want people to think he is like those kids so he keeps away. One of the kids in that group worries me (the girl I mentioned last spring who said she was a lesbian but there was also a rumour that she was pregnant - in GRADE 5!!) so I must admit I am not going to encourage any friendships with that group.

And once again I feel as though I have failed my son because I have not been able to teach him how to put himself out there. I know a lot of it is Jax's personality but surely I could do something more to help him, right? I mean I arrange for playdates and he's now in hockey but there must be something else I can do.

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