Saturday, October 20, 2012

Cars' fever finally went away Thursday afternoon but he was too weak from not eating all week to go to school on Friday.  And now Dex has a fever and sore throat.  Here we go again...

Our living room is just about finished being redecorated. It has taken positively AGES.  I got the call today that our area rug will be delivered the week after next.  And then the console and shelves should be installed around the same time.  I will finally be able to share photos!  Now, what project is next?

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

So yeah, stress does suck.  I do not handle things well when I am stressed out. I become paralyzed and I do not function.  Then I get more stressed because I haven't done what I need to do.  Procrastination feeds my stress.  Stress paralyzes me and I procrastinate.  And so on and so on without end.

The thing is, it isn't just one particular thing that has led to this particular stressful time.  It is everything.  And when I sit down to write about them they seem so petty and trivial and "first world problem"-atic that I then get embarrassed that I am even stressed about them.  We have food.  We have shelter.  My family is (relatively) healthy. I do not ~have~ to work outside of the home.  So what the fuck am I so stressed about?  Why do I let things get to me?

Waaaay back when I worked at Big Computer Company, I took a class where you assess what kind of person you are.  I remember the RED was for attention to detail and I scored a big fat 0 on that.  I am not a detail person.  And right now I am doing two big projects that require me to pay a lot of attention to detail and I SUCK at it.  I have had sleepless nights.  I have been comforting myself with food and I have been thinking of hitting the bottle of Xanax (and I do not want to touch it!).  I hate this.

And the things that would make this better (eating healthier, exercise, sleep, NOT procrastinating) are not even on my radar. 

And, right now when things are so overwhelming, my baby has been sick for going on 5 days (and in the morning I will call the school to let them know he will miss the 4th day of school in a row).  Fever, malaise, vomiting, cough, congestion, losing his voice, etc.  I missed a PT appt today and was made to feel guilty because I asked my dh to stay home this morning so I could go to my annual mammogram.  Nice.

Ok, off to bed.  I know I won't sleep but at least I can pretend that I might.

Friday, October 05, 2012

Today we are celebrating Cars' birthday with a party at a bowling alley.  Yes, his birthday was in August.  Yes, this is the second year in a row that he is having a really late birthday.  The kids are off school today and everyone he wanted to invite (but one) lives in our school district so it was a good day to have it.  About the other kid?  I just told Cars that it was too bad he had to go to school or else we could have invited him.  Fortunately, it is not a super close friend.  :)

I have been going to PT because I have bursitis and tendonitis in my shoulders again but this time they are also working on the Thoracic Outlet Syndrome.  Perhaps it is all connected anyway?  The exercises are killer because I have done virtually NO arm/shoulder exercises/stretches in months and month and months due to the pain.  Hopefully I will be healed soon.  I have been very good about doing my PT homework.

We have had three months of almost no rain.  While it has been enjoyable, I am starting to lose shrubs and even a couple of small trees.  I haven't been able to keep up with the watering.  Well, I could but I cannot imagine the water bills!  Hopefully the rain will return soon.  I need to transplant some trees to replace the plum trees I had to take out this summer.