Friday, May 05, 2006

Shaky

No kidney infection! I just must finish out my round of antibiotics and I shall be all better. :)

I wish the cure for embarrassment was as simple. I have just a moment ago realized that I did a complete bone-head move for Museum Night last night. I put up the wrong description of the art work for the kindergarten class. I described the art and "based on" artist for a different project! And about eleventy billion people read it? OMG - I am blushing as I write this. I feel like a total moron! ~breathe~

And to add to my moronic state, I had to have my neighbour come over this morning at 7AM to kill a enormous, gigantic, monstrous spider that was in my house. Jax woke me up just before 7:00 to tell me that there was a big spider downstairs. I asked him if he could get it but he said it was too high. I asked him to tell Stephen to get it. I thought Stephen was in the shower but it turns out he had left for work already! YIKES!

I bravely crept downstairs and almost swooned in fright at the sight of the monstrosity. It was up on the wall right where the wall and ceiling meet. There was no way I could get it myself. Not because of its location. Because of its size and location. I went as far as getting the fly swatter but I knew that I could not get it. What if I nicked it and it ran off (these suckers are FAST)? What would I do?!

So, I had to bite the bullet and wait until 7AM to call the neighbours. I got washed and dressed (there was no time for a shower!) and I called over there. Tom said he would be right over but I knew he was shaking his head in disbelief at me (backstory: I called him once about 4 years ago to kill one of these huge buggers, then another time to kill one but that time he was in my house painting it so it is not like he had to come far - only down from a 10 foot ladder, then last year because I saw what looked like a rolled up rubber band in the corner of my kitchen counter but almost fainted when I realized it was a spider).

Anyway, just after I called, Tom's wife, Lynn, arrived home from driving her dd to high school so she came over to kill the spider which was pretty humiliating. She was taken aback at the size of the thing but managed to squish it with seven kleenexes, then two damp paper towels to clean up the wall.

Ok, so just HOW big was this spider you may ask? Huge! The body was about an inch and a half long and the thick, meaty legs were about 2" long. ~shudder~ I frigging hate spiders. I had arachnophobia. I would sweat and swoon at the sight of spiders. Eventually, since there are always a billion spiders all over our rhodies and our deck in the summer, I was able to go outside without shaking to squish them, and in fact, I don't usually kill them anymore unless they are in my way (like on the bbq or in a chair). So, in one fell swoop, I have become a jumpy, nervous coward. All day long I have been flinching when, out of the corner of my eye, I spy a mark on the wall or the floor only to discover it is a piece of lego or a scratch in the paint.

I will probably have nightmares about them too. Time for a visit to the Crazy Doctor, I think.

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