50 Things About Me

Here is the list of 50 Things About Me (this is a repeat for anyone who may read HER TIME on Delphiforums):

1. I am 40 years old but still feel 18 sometimes (not youthful, just immature)
2. I have three boys
3. I always thought I would have a girl
4. I met my dh at university
5. We were in almost all of the same psychology classes together that year
6. He asked me to marry him twice
7. I said no the first time
8. I am a chronic worrier
9. I probably should be on anti-anxiety medication
10. But that worries me more than the anxiety
11. I had (have) post-partum depression after my third child
12. I am still going to counselling for it two years later but go once every three weeks now
13. I love being creative
14. I make beaded jewerly, I knit (simple items), and I paint
15. I would love to go back to school for graphic design
16. But I worry about the cost, if I am good enough, etc
17. I wish I had more friends IRL
18. I would rather stick hot pokers in my eyes than speak in public
19. I get tongue-tied when I am nervous and end up sounding like a fool
20. I miss Toronto and hope to move back there one day
21. I haven't lived there in 12 years
22. I hate cold winters though so I will probably stay here with the cool, wet winters
23. I think all.the.time about losing weight
24. Especially when I am sitting around eating chocolate
25. I don't like my sister
26. Although really I think I don't like her because I feel rejected by her
27. She will not speak to anyone in the family except for my mom because "we are all strangers to her"
28. We are strangers because she will not speak to us
29. I am sometimes embarrassed when people ask me about her and I cannot tell them more than what I have heard from my mom
30. I pray for her a lot
31. I pray for my husband too
32. I wish he would attend Church with us
33. I worry about Jackson being exposed to peanuts, especially peanut butter because it is so insidious and gets everywhere
34. When I was in the deep depths of ppd, I used to think it might be better if he died so I didn't have to worry about him and peanut butter anymore
35. That is when I sought help
36. I have never told anyone that before and wonder if I am brave enough not to edit it
37. I feel guilty about those thoughts everyday
38. I want to let my hair grow grey
39. I wish I could afford to go to a salon every 4 weeks to colour it
40. I am lazy
41. I am too cheap to go to Starbucks
42. I get jealous watching Oprah's "Favorite Things" episodes
43. I never thought I would be a stay-at-home mom
44. I cannot imagine going back to work in an office
45. My favourite board game is Scrabble but I don't have anyone to play with because Stephen gets annihilated everytime and will not play with me anymore
46. I have wished for world peace every Christmas since I was 10
47. I think Karl Rove is an evil man
48. Organized Christmas trees (by colour or theme) are not for me
49. I love decorating my Christmas tree with all the hodgepodge decoartions
50. I hope to catch "Love Actually" on TV this holiday season