Today, I decided it was going to be my last visit to my crazy doctor. This week marks the second anniversary of my visits to her.

I cannot believe how far I have come in the last two years. Looking back, the feelings of despair and hopelessness that I had now seem so foreign to me. The frightening thoughts that my children would be better off dead (see post 50 things about me) or that if I stopped driving my car one day that I would never be able to drive again. Wondering how I would get through the next day or next hour, or next 5 minutes. I can remember the feelings of being afraid, scared, alone, insane, but I cannot feel those feelings like I did at the time.

Anyway, I walked into her office today and pronounced myself cured. I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Not unscathed of course. I think my marriage was severely impacted by it but we are working on it. I think too that some of the problems that Jax is experiencing at school are cries for attention that he has not received at home.

So, there it is. Upwards and onwards.