I am so excited - our new kitchen windows (and door) will be installed on Friday! Whoo-hoo! As soon as the weather turns warm, I will have FRESH AIR circulating through my kitchen for the first time EVER! And we will have a better window in which to exhaust our room air-conditioner. Yeah!

The kindergarten Art Start project has become such a huge ordeal. The kids painted ceramic tiles which we had fired. Now we are making stepping stones with them and some tumbled glass. I had to drive to Seattle last week to buy the glass ($50 worth of broken tumbled glass) but we realized today that we do not have enough so back to Seattle I will need to go. Also, the cement is a big PITA to mix up. We did practice ones today so hopefully they will turn out ok. I finally was able to get two other moms to help out with the project because there is no way I can mix and pour cement for 20 stepping stones and supervise the kids as they place glass around the tiles. Anyway, this project is just way more than I had signed on for and I definitely will think twice about doing it again. But I hope they turn out because they are Mother's Day gifts.

Today (well it is after midnight so yesterday...) was my nephew's 20th birthday. I do not have any contact with him (he is my sister's son) but I do think of him often. He works on the pipeline (or something like that) in Alberta. I hope he is happy.

Piss and Moan

I found out last week that my cousin (shown here with Ramona and I), will not be coming to visit me this summer. She and her family were going to fly to Edmonton, drive to Vancouver then to Seattle for their summer holidays. They cut out a week though and that week is Seattle. I am so bummed. And I don't know why on earth they want to go to Edmonton then drive *24* hours to Vancouver. I mean Edmonton does have the World's Largest Mall but that's about it. My sister also lives there and I know she will not see my cousin. Seattle, on the other hand, is just a *3* hour drive from Vancouver, we have mountains (vs. flat prairie), lakes, Puget Sounds, shopping, the Space Needle, BigSoftwareCompany, EMP and ME! I am very disappointed and to be quiet honest, a little hurt.

Ok, onto more disappointment...Dex has his throat-clearing thing back again this year. I know it is from allergies. He has been on Zyrtec and Flonase for the last three weeks due to the "blinking" (maybe allergies, maybe a tic but we don't know for sure and he screams like we are putting his eyes out with hot pokers when we try to give him the antihistamine eyedrops that we gave up on them) but now the throat clearing has started. This went on for months last year and it was a sinus infection that would not clear up. So, tomorrow he is going to see the ped but I cannot get him in to see the allergiest until the end of May because he is not a current patient (he has not seen her since he was tested for peanuts and milk allergies when he was an infant). This throat clearing is so annoying for him and for everyone around him. I hope we can get it cleared up more quickly this year. And I hope the eye blinking thing goes away.

I hurt my neck and upper back sleeping funny last week. I slept funny because Cars was sleeping on my head. Yesterday, it hurt so much that I thought I would throw up. It is a little better today but I am so very stiff. Last night, I made Stephen take Cars into the spare bed after he woke up and tried to climb in our bed at 2am. I was finally successful in getting Cars to go to sleep in his own bed but I cannot get him to stay in his own bed all night! It is killing me!

And since I have complained about two-thirds of my children, I will complain about the third and make it complete. Jax loves the watch we bought him for his birthday. He is always telling us the time. "It is 9:47" and "It is 10:01" and "It is 1:32" ad nauseum.

So, yesterday was Easter and we went to 11:30 am Mass (because I still felt sick from my sore neck/back and I could not get to an earlier Mass). Well, before Mass, Jax asked "How long is Mass". I told him it is usually 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes but it will be longer because it is Easter and there will be a gazillion people there. So beginning at the 1 hour mark until Mass ended (blissfully, it was only 1 hour and 25 minutes), I had a minute by minute recap of the time. Jax would say "It has now been 1 hour and 1 minute. Is Mass almsot over?" and "It has been 1 hour and 6 minutes. Is it time to go?". I was so ready to rip that freaking watch off his wrist.

So, combine Mr. Timecheck with Dex's incessant questions about (again) why he does not get to have chips like everyone else, Cars fighting with other kids over the Little Tikes Kitchen (we sat in the crying room) and my throbbing back, it was a very long Easter Mass. Oh, and then it took us 10 minutes to get out of the church parking lot so by the time we arrived home we had been gone "Two hours! We were at church for *two* hours!" Jax complained.

Happy Easter.

Jax is now eight years old. I cannot believe it, really. I started telling him his birth story and got so choked up. He wanted a "real" watch for his birthday so I bought him a Timex that has an analog face (along with a digital reading and an alarm). I can tell he feels so grown-up wearing that watch.

Today is his party. We are going to a movie then back here for pizza and cake. Oh, and the timer just went off so it is time to take the cake from the oven!

We spent a whole 10 minutes discussing the book at book club tonight. Only 2 people had even finished it (I was not one of them). Let's hope the next book is more interesting.

Jax's 8th birthday is tomorrow. I cannot believe he is 8. Wow. He is not a little kid anymore. Makes me so proud, happy and sad at the same time. He is a great kid with a wonderful imagination. I am so proud to be his mom.

Blogger lost my long-winded entry so I will just list the highlights:

- Art Start today in Jax's class - fun and great art
- Meeting with friends for dinner tomorrow night
- Thursday will be 1st time I have gone to book club without having completed the book *yawn*
- I need a 40th birthday present for Stephen.

We arrived home from Vancouver today. Highlights from the trip are:

1) Mom leaving (love her but 9 days of togetherness is enough. I almost called her Killjoy to her face)
2) Keg-sized Caesars
3) Westin's Heavenly beds
4) Stanley Park
5) Seeing JP's house "before"
6) Swimming in a warm hotel pool
7) Meeting and internet friend (L'R)
8) Grocery shopping for Canadian Cheese Whiz, ketchup chips, Tetley Tea and Smarties
9) My very first pleasant encounter with a US Border Guard

My bags are packed

We're ready to go. We are off to Vancouver tomorrow. I am packing pretty light so I am hoping the kids do not spill food on their clothes. I do have a clean shirt for every day for them but only 2 pairs of pants (and they will be wearing one of those pairs).

We will check into the hotel then head to JP's house and out to dinner at a resturant around the corner from there.

Thursday we will take my mom to the airport for her flight back to T.O. Then we'll meet my internet friend L'R who moved to Vancouver a few months ago from Arizona.

Friday we come home.

I can't beleive I ate the whole thing

What a great weekend for food!

Friday night: Sushi for lunch, veggie pizza for dinner and chocolate birthday cake.

Saturday: Beef tenderloin skewer with steamed broccoli and garlic-Parmesan mashed potatoes at Pogacha with homemade pecan pie for dessert.

Sunday: Stephen made rosemary-garlic lamb chops with garlic-Parmesan mashed potatoes (inspired from dinner the night before), steamed broccoli and cole slaw. My mom made a lemon meringue pie for dessert.

I.am.stuffed. I am certain I have gained five pounds this weekend.

Today was my birthday. Nosey Neighbour offered to take me to lunch and suggested Todai which is a sushi place. We get there and turns out that lunch is free for someone with a birthday. LOL She is gloriously frugal and she did know that lunch was going to be free in advance. Anyway, I enjoyed the free food. :)

Stephen baked me a yummy chocolate cake for dinner and we had pizza and bread sticks. I was spoilt rotten by my dh. He rocks.

So we finally settled on a windows guy. This was a friend of a friend and he owns his business and runs it out of his home not too far from here. His bid was competitive (ok it was cheaper than the others but he was not installing Milgard windows like the others - he said this window brand was good but not as expensive because you are not paying for the name). He gave me a list of references and they were all GLOWING.

Oh, and he is handsome.

So, I decided to go with him. Handsome Window Guy come out with his window installer to get precise window and patio door measurements and he brought his window installer. The installer said "This door is not a $tandard $ize". I looked at Hand$ome Window Guy and a$ked him what that meant. They discu$$ quickly knocking out the drywall to fit a $tandard $ized door in but quickly di$mi$$ it because of the addtional work (drywall, $iding, electrical). Hand$ome Window Guy then $aid that would mean an additional co$t. We all $tood around looking at each other. Hand$ome Window Guy apologize$ profu$ely. He now realize$ why hi$ bid wa$ lower than most of the other$. We $tood around looking at each other $ome more.

Finally I a$ked "Exactly how much more?". He $aid about $600. I blinked. I $tared. He $aid he would eat the co$t of $ome of it $ince it wa$ hi$ mi$take. I blinked. I $tared $ome more. $o he $aid he would eat the co$t of half of it $ince it wa$ hi$ mi$take. I a$ked him to $ign the bid, $tating that we would pay an additional $300 and he would pay the balance. Hand$ome Window Guy'$ in$taller mumbled $omething about $800. Hand$ome Window Guy winced. I quickly do the math and agree that $800 is probably right, compared to the other bid$ I have received (and subtracting any co$t of a name-brand window).

If Hand$ome Window Guy had not come so highly recommended, I would have told him I had to think about it and then had hired one of the other bidders. I hope I do not regret my decision. We'll know in two weeks or so.

Oh, and my mom arrived safely tonight. Jax stayed up late to greet her. Dex tried but he was too tired.

Sophie again

I made another Sophie bag:

It is black, not charcoal as it looks. I used Brown Sheep Company Nature Spun Worsted in Pepper (#601). I am thinking about making some sort of button closure for this bag but I am not sure what...think-think-think.

Mail Call

My mom sent me a package last week (birthday present and a whole stash of peanut-safe chocolates for the kids - ah, yeah, for the kids). Also in the box was a big stack of letters, cards postcards and tags from way back that I still had at her house. There were some cards from Ramona written in the early 1990's and mailed from Saudi Arabia and her other countries from her travels (Thailand, Berlin) and some postcards from ex-boyfriends (I cannot believe I kept them!).

The bulk of the stuff was from Stephen. Cards, love letters, Valentine's Day cards and little notes from when we were first dating (late 1986/early 1987). Oh my God he was soooo mushy! And cute and sweet and funny! I loved re-reading them and remembering that new love feeling - all gushy, mushy and warm. *sigh*

Batter Up!

Opening day of Little League today. Jax's team (AA Ball Cubs) had their game at 9:30 am. They were home team. Jax was fifth up and he was the first kid in the whole game to strike out. He was so dejected! He walked back to the dugout like he was Charlie Brown. I walked over to console him and saw he was just barely holding back the tears. Poor boy. He kept wiping his face with his hand and ended up with hives on his face (from the grass on his hands) so on top of feeling so bad for striking out, he had to eat a Benadryl chewable in front of the whole team! The next two times up to bad he hit the ball on the first pitch and made it safely to first base. Yeah, Jax!

Dex is playing A Ball (Angels!) so if they swing 5 times and do not hit the ball, they get to hit the ball from the T. Dex had to use the T during his first at bat but he hit the ball well the second time (they just played 2 innings).

Both boys had a great time playing and we are looking forward to a fun season.

Stitch N Bitch

I have been trying to start a Stitch N Bitch session with some friends to meet every other Thursday (opposite weeks from MOPS). Today we finally were able to get a group together but some came just for the bitch, not the stitch. It was very fun though. There were six of us (six of our 11 in book club actually) but still nice to meet and blab.

Tonight I went out with Deb from book club. She belongs to the same fitness club as the one we just joined. It felt good to work out since I haven't been walking because Neighbour is on vacation.

My mom is coming for a visit. She arrives on Tuesday and will fly home from Vancouver 9 days later. She loves me more than JP because she will spend more time with me. ;)

Ho-hum Hump Day

Nothing much going on today. Swimming lessons for Dex this morning, Art Start this afternoon in Dex's class - I had to take Cars because Neighbour is in Japan and she usually watches him. I could not ask Ash because she is busy painting her house so I had to take him. He was so good until the end of the hour when he pooped. :
Stephen is working late trying to get all they can crammed into Vista (which they just announced will be released later than scheduled).

I haven't walked in a week I think and I can feel it. I need to make sure I am getting more exercise.

Ok, off to change a load of laundry before I go to bed. Ho-hum, yawn.

More Tears

This is our week for crying. Let's see...yesterday was me and Dex (I didn't write about me crying over frustration with Jax's report card etc). Today is was Jax's turn. We were at the Science Fair at the school tonight and Jax said he wanted to go off to see the Mad Scientist demonstrations. I told him to go ahead while I waited for Dex. When we got there, the three classrooms with the demos were packed and we looked all over but could not find Jax. We stayed put while Stephen went out to find Jax.

Turns out Jax "got lost" and then could not find us. He wandered around and then decided to go to the office but it was locked. He looked around for a "trusted" adult but could not find one but then he spotted Ash. He ran up to her and said he was lost. She told him he was at school so he was not lost but then she saw the tears in his eyes and realized he meant he could not find us. She was just dialing my cell phone when Stephen found them. Poor Jax was so upset. I am so proud of him for doing all the right things but I am concerned because the school was full of parents and teachers yet he could not find one whom he trusted. I knew of at least 6 or 7 who were there whom he could have turned to. Poor thing.

Other than that incident, the Science Fair went well. The boys enjoyed discussing their projects with the judges (the kids are not graded nor were there winners). Some of the projects at the Fair were so creative and again, lots that the kids did the project themselves so that was refreshing. One of my favourites was "Peep Jousting".

Tomorrow is Art Start in Dex's class. We are painting bisque tiles which we have fired and then next month, put them in cement stepping stone for a Mother's Day gift. Since Neighbour left today for a vacation in Japan, I don't have a babysitter for Cars so I hope he will play quietly in the classroom (or if luck is with me, he will nap in his stroller).

Mean Mom Yet Again

Jax has been asking a lot about if we had a girl in the family, would I like that? Am I sad that I don't have a girl? etc... Tonight at dinner the topic came up again and so I said I heard that I could trade in three boys and get myself a girl. Jax of course knew I was joking but a moment later he asked Dex why he was crying. Dex sobbed "I don't want Mom to trade me in!". Oh my goodness! I felt like such a heel! He cried for a good 10 minutes. Then he crawled down from my lap and under the table and he did not come out until a couple of minutes later when Stephen came home. I asked Jax if he knew I was joking and he said "Yes, I did. But I think Dex is too young for jokes like that". Man, even my soon-to-be 8 yr old knew it was not an appropriate joke! I apologized to Dex again. He became teary-eyed again at bedtime about the joke. I am so mean!

Ok, I met with Jax's teachers today and I feel better about things. Jax will be doing the "Leadership" classes after all. The class is just 5 Mondays in a row. Jax said he had a good time on Friday at the one that the counselor held and he was looking forward to going again. I made sure that Ash said that Gav could go before I gave Jax the go-ahead because I did not want to say OK if no one else whom he wanted in the classes with him would not be there. We also discussed a couple of his "Lifeskills" ratings on this report card that was sent home on Friday. If his table or his class has to stay in for a few minutes at recess then he will say "It's because you hate us!" to the teachers. OMG! I am so embarrassed that he does that! He tries to make a lot of jokes too, often at inappropriate times. Gotta get him to stop that.

Anyway, I do feel relieved after meeting with the teachers. I even feel a little less crazy so looks like Crazy Doctor will not be hearing from me after all.

Busy Weekend

We were busy this weekend with baseball practices and science fair projects. The Science Fair is this Tuesday. Jax did an experiment using a 2-litre bottle of Diet Coke and mentos mints (pour the mints in and the whole thing explodes!). Dex did experiments with pop too. He took 5 bottles of Diet Coke and did things to them (shook, dropped, rolled, threw and dragged) to see which one would explode the most. It was fun. Not super hard experiments but the kids had a great time doing them and we had a blast!

Here was Jax's explosion:

Here is Dex's biggest explosion (after tossing the bottle back and forth with Jax:


Tomorrow is a busy day and I am freaking out about it already. Swim lessons at 10, then Ding-Dong girl needs to come over to do some art start stuff because she is going to be away on Wednesday when I teach it. Then I have to get Jax from school at 11:30 (half-day, no PM Kindergarten!). Then I need to be at the park for 1:15 to watch Ash's kids while she meets with Gav's teacher then she will watch mine while I meet with Jax's teacher. Then rush home and off to baseball practice. Thankfully we finished the Science Fair projects tonight else we would have that to do tomorrow night. I seriously need to consider calling the Crazy Doctor.

Ok, breathe.

And Neighbour is going to Japan for three weeks so no walking in the evenings. I will have to try to squeeze it in during the day. Wish me luck!

What a Day

I worked out this morning with Ash then I went to Michael's to buy two presentation boards for science fair projects. I lost my AMEX card somewhere along the way. They are going to re-issue me a new one but I won't get it until sometime next week.

Then the school counselor called and told me she had Jax in a session with Gav, Mat and C. WHAT? I said she could talk to Jax, not hold a "leadership" or "friendship" session. Then she told me it was all arranged and they would meet every week on Mondays. I was so angry because I thought she had not listened to me at all! Then I was upset because Gav and the others had been dragged into this. After I picked Jax up from school he said he had a good time so now I am torn. Just on principle, I don't want to let him go but he seemed to enjoy it. Then Ash called me and said Gav liked it too and is looking forward to it. So now what do we do?!

In the whole scheme of things, this does not seem like a big deal so I don't understand why I am so pissed off about it. I guess because this week it seems that things are happening that are outside of my control.

And just to add another thing outside of my control today, we received the results of Jax's blood test and his peanut allergy antibodies has increased. F*ckity-f*ck.

I think I need to call and make an appointment with Crazy Doctor.

Ramblings

I am officially the MOPS Craft Coordinator for next year. I just submitted my budget and I hope I get the money I want. Now, how do I come up with 14 different crafts for 48 women at a cost of no more than $2.50 each?! Any and all ideas welcome!

I was showing Cars a picture of Jesus that was on the front cover of the "I Am Special" teacher guide for Sunday School. I said "That is Jesus" and he said "That not Jesus! That Qui-Gon Jinn!". Then he looked at me with a puzzled look and said "Where's him lightsaber?". I could not stop laughing! Can you see the similarity? (For those unfamiliar with Star Wars, Qui-Gon Jinn is on the left in the right-hand picture).






Today I received a call from the guidance counselor at school telling me she was scheduling Jax for "Leadership" classes because his teacher requested it (see this post for history). Ok, it is *4* months after we had first discussed it with his teachers and I told them we would get back to them if we decided to go that route (we did not). As far as I was aware, Jax has had no more problems at school making friends so where did this come from all of a sudden?! I gave her permission to speak to him tomorrow but that was it. She may not enroll him in the classes until we find out exactly what is going on. I then emailed his teachers to find out if they thought there was still a problem with him being friend-less and if so, why did they not let me know there was still a problem (parent/teacher interviews are next week and they said none was needed for him). Anyway, I am irked by all of this. I kind of got the impression that the counselor was trying to justify her job and was grabbing at names to fill up a class (she asked who Jax's friends were and when I told her she would say "Oh, they would do well in the Leadership classes too!").

So I will wait impatiently for a reply from his teachers. I have asked for an interview with them next week now. Hopefully it will not be at the same time as the one Ash is going to for Gav because I am to watch her kids at that time.

Waste of Time

My appt at the GYN yesterday was a waste of time. He confirmed that the "nodule" is smaller now than when it was and he told me to come back again when it gets bigger and hurts more. He is still sure it it incisional endometriosis (or whatever the technical term is). Laproscopy to remove the nodule is what he is suggesting. Not sure if mentally I can handle another surgery at this point so I guess I will just live with this pain for now. At least it is cyclical so I do have just a few days when it is really bad.

The power went off a short time ago so I need to go around and fix all of the clocks in the house. I was just mentioning to Stephen that we have had relatively few power outages this year and look what happens!

Oh but first:


Get your own!
Word Cloud

Thanks,Kimmer!

Bummed

Jax had an appointment with the allergist today. We were hoping that he had outgrown his egg allergy. No luck. She did send us for a blood test (RAST) to check the allergy levels of egg and peanuts.

One good news item is that he is not allergic to any new items that he was tested for (lots of trees and weeds). But he remains allergic to grass and birch trees.

Off to my GYN to check out the lump by my c-section incision...

HP4

We watched "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" for movie night last night. I thought it was pretty awesome. However, it took nearly three hours to watch because I had to pause it about eleventy billion times for 1) potty breaks 2) "More chips please, Mom?" 3) Dex's jabbering so loud that we could not hear. I *will* see the next Harry Potter movie in the theatre...ALONE!

Huh?

In today's mail, I received the official letter from the Breast Center with results from last week's mammogram:

Dear Ms. Pez:

We are pleased to inform you that your recent breast imaging examination (mammography and/or breast ultrasound), performed at our facility shows that the area of your previous biopsy has remained stable, confirming that it is almost certainly benign (not cancer).

"Almost certainly" doesn't really sound as reassuring as they probably intend it to be.

The Winner is

Chloe!

I have loved watching this show and I am already looking forward to next Fall when the next season will start!

Today was a "Teacher Appreciation Lunch" which the PTA puts on once each month on an early dismissal Wednesday. The theme was "International Lunch" so parents brought in dishes from countries of their heritage. I took in Nanaimo Bars (but my recipe uses Vanilla pudding rather than Vanilla custard). Yummy!

Anyway, I arrived at the school during morning recess and in the teacher's lounge was one of Jax's teachers (he has two who job share) chatting with his former 1st grade teacher. Miss 1st Grade Teacher was eating peanuts in the shell. Ok, so here is where I cannot figure out if I am being rational or irrational. I became so pissed off at her because she has a PEANUT ALLERGIC child in her class again this year. In fact, he has had at least two anaphylactic reactions to peanuts! Ok, so she is pretty hip to peanut allergies and would probably wash her hands before returning to the class but I think about all the dust from the peanut shells getting all over her clothes. And those same peanut particles became airborne in that room and possibly landed on Jax's teacher who will go back into the classroom. And because of it, I am so disappointed with that 1st grade teacher.

The school is not peanut-free but the classrooms are. So I should be thankful that the teacher ate them in the teachers' lounge rather than in the classroom. And, I do not even know if Jax's teacher was teaching in his class today (she works full-time, in the class Thursday, Fridays and every other Wednesday so it is possible she was doing her other job today which is Reading Specialist for the school). Plus, I am wondering if 1st grade teacher do the same thing last year when Jax was her student? He is highly allergic to peanuts (but no anaphylaxis - touch wood).

I did not say anything. I wish I had had the nerve to say "Miss 1st Grade Teacher, don't forget to wash your hands before returning to class!".

So, I need to think about this some more and process it and decide how I really should feel about this (shrug it off or what, I don't know!).

And Jax has an appointment with the allergist on Tuesday. I think I will ask her what the chances are for the peanut dust causing a reaction. I have read about reactions from peanut dust but that has been in restaurants and bars that serve peanuts in the shell and you just throw the shells on the floor (do any restaurants or bars still do that?).

Food allergies suck.

Old Grey Pez

I think I have mentioned before that I have decided to stop colouring my hair and go old gracefully. Well, I am not sure about going gracefully but I am certainly grey. It has been 4 months since I last coloured my hair (I did it the night before we left for Ramona's wedding in Vegas).

I knew I was "going" grey - I started colouring my hair in 1994 because it was long and grey and I was looking for my first job in the States (my work permit had just been approved). For years I went to a salon to have it done but about three or four years ago I started doing it myself.

I would spend all of my time watching my hair and calculating when the next time I could safely do it. Since I started doing it at home, I have ruined a half dozen towels, our flooring in the master bath (which has since been replaced), two bath mats, stained a toilet seat, three t-shirts and two bras.

So I decided after my 40th birthday, I was going to stop colouring my hair. But, I would stop right after my trip to Vegas with Ramona and Leah Ann to celebrate our 40th birthdays:


Ok, Vegas was over so NO MORE COLOUR...but then it was summer time and I didn't want to look old during the summer. Then, I had to colour it again for Ramona and Greg's wedding in November.

Finally! I was Free To Be Me and here are the results after four months:






So, even though I knew I was going grey and had some patches that were more grey than others, I am still shocked at how grey I am at the the temples (ok whole side of the head) but much less grey on top!

So my plan is to grow out the grey some more then cut my hair shorter (blunt cut or something). We'll see if I have glorious silver locks or dull grey frizzy hair.

Stressed Out

For some reason I am feeling very stressed out and I am short-tempered with my children. Do I need to go back to see Crazy Doctor to figure out what is going on and how I manage it? I am beginning to think so.

Lsat night was so much fun. There were 8 of us from MOPS being fitted and I think in total we bought 22 bras (I purchased just two) so that was $76 dollars donated to The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Boobies

Today at MOPS, our speakers were two bra fitters from Nordstrom. They told us about the benefits of a good bra fitting. I was already won over. My online friend, Jill8102 (hee, I don't think of her as just "Jill", isn't that funny?) convinced me about 5 years ago to go to Nordstroms, get fitted and buy myself a Wacoal bra. So I did and I have been in love with those bras ever since and only buy them after a proper bra fitting.

Anyway, tomorrow and Saturday, Nordstrom is having a Fit for the Cure event and for every bra fitting, they will donate $2 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and if you buy a Wacoal or DKNY/Donna Karen bras, they will donate another $2.

So, I am off to Nordstrom tomorrow evening with a group of ladies from MOPS. We have an 8pm appointment for bra fittings. Then we'll head somewhere for dessert. :)

Oh, and today I had my 6 month follow-up mammogram and all is ok (the radiologist view the films right away for any follow-up mammograms so no waiting - yeah!). I go back in another 6 months and if all is ok then, I will be back on a yearly schedule.

Remember that you are dust and to dust you will return

When I lived in Canada, no one ever commented on ashes on my forehead on Ash Wednesday. I don't know if it is because more than 40% of the population is Roman Catholic (vs less than 25% of Americans) or if people just knew what it was about.

After a six year hiatus, I returned to the Church 1.5 years ago and this is the second Ash Wednesday where people have come up to me and told me that I had black smudges on my forehead. Last year, my friend even reached over to rub it off! I didn't have that same reaction in Minneapolis but then I would usually go to an evening service and then go directly home (although come to think of it I do remember getting a funny look from the cashier at the grocery store one year).

Anyway, for any non-Catholics out there, if you see someone with a smudge of black ash on their foreheads today, you can be sure that they do indeed know that it is there. And they do not need you to rub it off for them.

Thankyouverymuch.

Ever Vigilant

Nestlé Canada has issued a recall on Snack-sized Coffee Crisp bars because these "peanut-free" and "Safe To Share" bars which are made in a peanut-free facility "may contain peanut protein which is not declared on the label." W.T.F.!

(*edited to add that this is virtually the only chocolate I let Jax eat*)

Apparently one person has had a reaction. These chocolate bars (aka candy bars, my American friends) are made and sold in Canada. However, we often buy them when we are in Vancouver, or my brother brings them down or my mom mails us boxes and bags of them.

I called Nestlé's 800# listed on the allergy alert but because I live in the USA I was routed to the Nestlé USA and they were next to useless with providing me info. Then she told me that I could not even call Nestlé Canada because I lived in the USA. I said I understood that I could not call them via an 800# but they must have a direct line and she told me they did not. Riiiight.

So my mom, who lives in Toronto, called and Nestlé Canada told her that the factory is indeed peanut-free. They are trying to find out what happened and how peanut protein got into the bar (if in fact it was there - they are currently testing samples from those batches as well as the recalled product that went out to stores). Their suppliers know that the factory is peanut-free and sign agreements that what they supply is free from peanuts/peanut protein.

So, now what do we do? Do we continue to eat their peanut-free products? Do we wait to see if it was a supplier problem? If so, how do they guarantee it will not happen again? How does anyone guarantee their products will only contain the ingredients listed on the label? Do we give up eating all processed foods because clearly you can never be 100% safe/?! It is distressing and depressing.

One good news item about peanut allergies is this:

Toronto researchers have found a clue in the blood of people killed by peanut allergies that could help identify those most at risk of a fatal reaction. Click for details.

Jax has his semi-annual allergist appointment in two weeks. I hope his allergist can give us some news about the status of peanut allergy treatments.

Idea taken from Kross-Eyed Kitty's blog.

Four Jobs I've had in my Life:
1. Candy girl at the movies
2. Hotel Concierge
3. Information Specialist (aka secretary/assistant)
4. Computer Engineer
Four Movies I'd Watch Over and Over
1. Love Actually
2. The American President
3. Serendipity
4. Star Wars IV: A New Hope
Four Places I've Lived:
1. Scarborough, Ontario
2. Ottawa, Ontario
3. Minneapolis, Minnesota
4. Town east of Seattle, Washington
Four TV Shows I like to Watch
1. American Idol
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Boston Legal
4. Desperate Housewives
Four Favourite Places I've been on Vacation:
1. Florida
2. Manzanillo, Mexico
3. Barbados
4. St. Thomas, Virgin Islands
Four Web Sites I Visit Daily:
1. Toronto Star
2. Delphi Forums
3. King 5
4. Pez Blahg
Four of my Favourite Foods:
1. Souvlaki with Greek Salad on the side
2. Prime Rib
3. Brownies with fudge icing
4. Shrimp cocktail
Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. On a beach in the sun
2. In bed sleeping (but I have to watch Grey's Anatomy!)
3. Nordstrom's Rack
4. Michael's
Four People I feel sorry for because they're getting tagged:
Beth, Heidi, Katie, MissFish, Pley

Back to School

The kids went back to school today. I spent 1.5 hours cutting a big 25 pound block of clay into 56 6.5-7.0 oz pieces for Sunday School. I also spent almost two hours surfing knitting blogs and online yarn shops. I want to knit another booga bag and I think I will make it in a solid colour this time. I've also started another Sophie bag with the yarn I had purchased to make an Alien Illusion scarf. I screwed up the pattern twice so the second time I frogged it I decided to give up - I just cannot read a knitting graph pattern.

Cars was accepted to the preschool at our church so that will make things so much easier for me next year. He will be in class while I am in MOPS so there will be so easy next year with much less running around. And he still has to be potty trained. As you can see it is going well...


He *loves* to put that damn potty ring around his neck and run around the house. Ick! I do wipe it down with Clorox bathroom wipes but still! Ick! He finally peed in the potty for the first time on Monday but no action since then. Think I can get this done in six months time?!

I managed to fill the past two days with trips to the club to go swimming. Yeseterday it was just us and today Ash and her kids joined us. The good thing about swimming is that it wears them right out. Bad thing? It wears me out too.

Too Many Days Off School

The kids are out of school for the next three days for mid-winter break (and President's Day). Tomorrow afternoon Dex has a birthday party in the afternoon one of those places with the inflatables. Neighbour has offered to drive Dex (her dd is going too) so that might give Jax and Cars and I time to go to the park or something if it is nice out. Tuesday we are going to go swimming at the club. Wednesday? Dunno...

Today Jax took a swing with a plastic bat just as Cars walked by so Cars is now sporting a black eye with a cut under it. He insisted that he needed a bandaid on so for most of the day he walked around with a 3" Diego bandaid across his cheek and nose.

Oh and I wanted to mention after hating last month's book club selection, I am thoroughly enjoying this month's book.

Busy as a Bee

This past week whizzed by. I was so busy! Tuesday was Valentine's Day and I volunteered in Dex's class. I had first offered to work Jax's class but there were already 12 moms there so I left and went to Dex's class because I knew there were not many volunteers.

Wednesday, it was Art Start in Dex's class. Then the window guy came (oy! pushy salesman and expen$ive windows). Thursday was MOPS (had to bake a breakfast egg dish first thing in the morning to take in). Then I went to the club in the afternoon as soon as Dex boarded the bus for school. Thursday was also spent trying to work stuff out with the pushy windows guy and Stephen.

Friday I had to tell the windows guy that he had pissed Stephen off so we were going to look elsewhere for windows (man, I hate confrontation so it was very stressful). Friday I also spent my Nanny time running through Costco, then at the school putting up Art Start work in the Kindergarten class then helping the teacher out for an hour.

My lovely dh let me sleep in until 8am this morning! He rocks!

Oh, I also sewed babyshower gifts this week and went to the shower this afternoon. My next-door neighbour is having twin girls next month (she already has 2 daughters). I made her two blankets (chenille backed cotton) with coordinating burp cloths (cotton fabric sewn to cloth diapers).


Click on picture to see larger image.

Next week the kids have Mon, Tues and Wed off. Still trying to decide what we are going to do to keep busy.

Miscellaneous Ramblings

I have a window guy coming today to talk about replacing the two windows in the kitchen. They do not open. My kitchen gets like an oven in the summer. There is a sliding door beside the windows but it is not enough to create some circulation. The guy wants to sell me new windows for the whole house but I just want the two. We'll see how quickly I can get him out of the house.

I am teaching Art Start in Dex's class today. The A.M. Kindergarten Art Start mom prepared all of the materials this month but I feel a little lost because I have had not involvement in this month's prep work. I hope it goes well today.

It is a lovely clear, sunny day but cold and we are expecting temperatures in the 20's and 30's over the next couple of days which is cold for here (you Toronto or Minnesota people quit laughing!).

Ka-boom

Last night on "Grey's Anatomy", when Dr. McDreamy goes to see Meredith at the end, there is a thunderstorm going on. How fake, I thought. Thunderstorms here are so rare. Ash and I discussed this today. Ok, yes it rains here but adding the thunderstorm was sooooo fake!

Tonight, as Neighbour and I were starting out on our evening power walk, it started to rain then suddenly, a blinding flash of light and KA-BOOOOOM! Lightening and thunder? What? We rushed home and then listened to a 10 minute thunderstorm. So much for that thunderstorm on "Grey's Anatomy" being fake!

The rain has been cycling between rain, sleet and snow for the past two and a half hours. Should be a lovely drive to school tomorrow.

Since I did not get to walk, I decided to actually DO something so I cut out and pinned two baby blankets and two burp cloths for my next-door neighbour. I have been invited to her baby shower this coming weekend. She is having identical twin girls (I guess they could tell that they are identical during the level IV ultrasound). These two girls will add to the two girls they already have! Imagine *4* girls!

I hope to get the blankets sewn tomorrow before I head to two Valentine's Day parties. I guess neither class had enough volunteers to help out so I will be bouncing back and forth with Cars in tow.

Oh, and before I forget, tonight was the Second Grade musical. It was soooo cute. Jax had a speaking roll (vs singing and dancing in the chorus). Of course he only had two lines. I forgot to take my camera though so I need to check around to see if anyone took photos of Jax.

Sunny and Grey

OMG - Do you watch "Grey's Anatomy"?! I think after today's episode, it has now overtaken "Boston Legal" as my favourite show. Anyway, it is so well written, the music is great and the special effects today were so realistic. I cried throughout much of the episode (and laughed "O'Malley? Stop looking at my va-jayjay!"

Oh, and I found a link to a blog from the writers of "Grey's Anatomy". It is called Grey Matter.

It was a warm and sunny day today so I did some yardwork - raking up leaves that I should have raked up last fall. I also scooped three big dog turds off my lawn. Geez that makes me so mad. We also have some big patches of dead grass on the lawn which indicates that someone is letting their dogs piss on our lawn too. If I wanted dog shit and piss on my lawn, I would have a dog! I loathe people who do not scoop their dog's poop. Anyway, I need to find something to keep them off the lawn. I've heard that cayenne pepper might do it. Gotta check that out. If not, I will plant some pricker bushes along the property line.

Date Night

Stephen and I had a date tonight. We went out to dinner at a restaurant that offers a discount (B1G1 Free entree!) using the Evil Empire's discount card (good at attractions, at restaurants, services, etc). Anyway, dinner was super yummy (spinach stuffed shrimp!). Then we went grocery shopping. Nanny's rates are half of what they are during the week so it felt like such a bargain to shop for cheaper! ;)

Jax had his first reconciliation today. I was so proud of him. The service was long because there were 120 kids going through it and even though they had 8 priests, it took 1.5 hours. He has his first communion this spring too.

I finally fell off the roof. I had called my ob/gyn's office to see about getting in to see him so he could check the endometriosis but turns out he is out of the office for the next week and a half so I will have to wait until next month. :
Stephen went for his stress test this week and all is fine (as he knew it would be).

Bird Watching

When I picked the kids up at the school yesterday, we saw three Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers. They were so fun to watch because they were pecking holes in the trees at our eye level and did not shy away when we approached for a closer look.

I signe Cars up for preschool at our church. I will find out around the 17th if he is accepted (this is the one where admittance is based on parents' time/talent/treasure).

I volunteered to be in charge of crafts for MOPS next year. Wish me luck planning and organizing crafts every two weeks for 60 moms!

I have the worst PMS. I am in such a bitchy mood, completely craving sweets (especially chocolate) and I am bloated. I scolded Ding-Dong girl today when she told me that my garage was dirty (it's messy, not dirty - hrmph!) and I left a pissy message at the allergist's office because I am trying to set up an appointment for Jax for March and they will not return my calls (hmmm...maybe I have been leaving pissy messages longer than I figured?). Anyway, I just want to hurry and fall off the roof so 1) the bloating will go away and 2) I can go to see my OB/GYN so he can confirm or deny the incisional endometriosis. I have had a week and a half pain-free (more now just like pressure) but today I felt a twinge so I think the pain is coming back.

I have to snap out of this mood for tomorrow because I am teaching Art in Jax's class. We are going to study Arrangement in Grey and Black: Portrait of the Painter's Mother by James Abbot MacNeill Whistler (aka "Whistler's Mother"). The kids will use charcoal to create a sketch of their mother's, making sure they use texture. I bought a can of AquaNet to "seal" the pictures since charcoal is so messy.

Ok, I need to go draft a letter to Jax's class reminding them to check ingredients before they send in candy for Valentine's Day. I wish that people would see that Valentine's day cards are fine alone!

Boo Seahawks

We had Ash and Gar over to watch the Super Bowl. We sent the kids over to their house and hired Nanny to watch all of the kids. Too bad the Seahawks lost. It was an interesting game despite the bad calls (don't the losers always say that they had bad calls? lol).

I finally finished the most boring book in the world! It is "The Quality of Life Report" that we are reading for book club. OMG it took me nearly 4 weeks to read it. Every night I would crack the book open and would promptly fall asleep reading it. Until Tuesday, I was still only on page 20! I have spoken to a couple of fellow book clubbers and they hated it too. I feel a little bad for Tami because the book stunk so much and it was her pick. This is a repeat of the book I chose last year when nearly everyone HATED that book.

Bang!

Dex has a scratch near the bridge of his nose that is a long line and then a little dot. He was starting at himself in the mirror the other day then came out and announced that he had an exclamation mark on his face because "I'm LOUD!".

Gov't Watching Me?

I frequently look at my list of visitors to see who is reading my blahg and how they found me (that's how I found out that there were over a dozen hits on photos of my kids in the swimming pool from last summer). Anyway, today I noticed a hit from:

Domain Name dhhs.gov ? (United States Government)
IP Address 158.70.170.# (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services)
158.70.170.165
ISP U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services

I thought that was weird and so I looked down at the referring URL and found out that someone was searching on "slapping my breasts". I had written that back when Cars weaned last March. LOL

I am wondering WHY this person is searching on that particular phrase but was more surprised at some of the other sites they must have looked at (btw, they read my blog for over 20 minutes! Oh, and I am glad I am not the only mom who used that phrase in regard to their toddlers and nursing).

Who knew that locking mailboxes would such a contentious issue? C'mon, who would NOT want more security to protect their identities/mail? Apparently, there are some people out there, in particular two women in our neighbourhood who cannot imagine why anyone still receives cheques/statements/bills via snail mail (this must be said in an incredulous voice, full of contempt and scorn). There were about 70 people at the meeting last night (our neighbourhood has 200 homes) and all but those two women were there to support the decision to get locking mail boxes. BTW, the mailboxes will be installed and maintained FOR FREE by the USPS. That is an estimated cost savings to our neighbourhood of over $30,000 (to buy private boxes).

The naysayers complaints:
- another key to look after
- consolidation of current mail stations means some will have to walk another 3 houses further to get mail
- "I only receive junk mail so why do I need locking boxes?"

I think the real reason was that one had to replace her broken mailbox herself last year when our HOA was inactive (a new board was voted in this past October) so she perhaps she is trying to get her money's worth of the next box?

So many people were arguing back and forth with them and it got heated. I was waiting for some name-calling or fists to fly! But the president stepped in and it did not come to blows. Busybody was one ready to attack those two women! lol

One of our city's police officers spoke about how rampant mail theft/identity theft was in our area and how quickly the thieves can get in/out and charge stuff to credit cards (within minutes). The last arrest for mail theft in our neighbourhood was on January 4th. It is a real concern and we need locking mailboxes.

So, everyone voted but there were not enough people there so the board will go door-to-door until they have 134 votes. I cannot see this issue failing so we should have new mailboxes in place by the end of April.

Still Ticked Off

Stephen called the cardiologist this morning but apparently gave them the impression that things were not urgent so he is not going for a stress test until next Wednesday afternoon. >:\ I am still ticked off at him for going back to work last night. Then this morning he told me he was exhausted and was going to take a day off to lie around in bed.

On another subject, I am planning to attend our HOA's meeting tonight to vote on installing locked mailboxes in our neighbourhood. Apparently, our city has the infamous claim to fame of being the identity theft capital of the country (per capita). Not sure if that is true, but there is tons-o-mail theft around here so I would be very happy with a locked mailbox.

Just after I arrived home after picking the kids up from school, Stephen called and said he needed me to come to pick him up from the doctor's office and take him to the hospital. Remeber I mentioned that he hurt his back? Apparently he had been having some back/shoulder pain before this even happened. So, he went to the doctor but because the pain actually radiated from his back around to his chest she sent him to the hospital to be checked out and he was not allowed to drive himself. So, an ekg, monitor, blood draw and x-rays, we were sent home two hours later with instructions for him to call a cardiologist tomorrow for a stress test. :
Then, after we left the hospital, he insisted that he had to go back to work. I am so frigging pissed off at him. He finally arrived home two hours after he was released from the hospital. WTF??? Nice.

Anyway, I need to get over being pissed at him (not that I am not so worried).

Preschool Stuff

After Dex gets on the bus today, Cars and I will be off to check up the back-up preschool. Registration starts there today so no doubt it will be full by the time we find out about the school that I want him to go. I could register him and then withdraw him once/if he gets into the other school but I just cannot bring myself to pay the registration fee ($75 + 1 month tuition) to lose the $75 (will get the tuition back if we withdraw before May) for a just-in-case preschool. This one is cheaper than that one I want but the one I want is
1) closer to home
2) religion-based
3) not a coop like the back-up school which means no monthly parent meetings, monthly parent education meetings or montly working in the classroom.

And if Cars does not get into any preschool it will be ok because he will be one of the youngest in his class since he has an August birthday. Another year at home with mom won't kill him.

Dropped the Bomb

I told Stephen about the camping trip and he was not amused. He said it will be a disaster because I hate bugs and have to call the neighbour to kill spiders. I retorted that I only call the neighbour for BIG spiders! Notice how he turned it around to it being because of me when really he *hates* camping. Anyway, if worst comes to worse we can just pay Nosy Neighbour's dh for the site and maybe they can get someone else to go. However, I think the kids would really love to go so maybe this is the one time we can take them camping in their lifetime.

Stephen hurt his back yesterday while cleaning the kitchen while the rest of us were at church. He spent the rest of the day in bed with a heating pad and a bottle of ibuprofen. Of course he is "too busy" to go to the doctor. Grrrrr...men!

It has now been nearly 13 weeks then I coloured my hair. It looks horrible but I am determined to grow out the colour and see what I look like grey before I colour again. On Friday night when I mentioned it someone gasped and asked me if I had not seen "I" with her roots? Of course I have but her roots are white whereas mine are still grey so I want to grow them out before mine turn white. Anyway, I am feeling the itch to colour and I have even gone so far as to cut coupons from the ads for L'Oreal and Clairol products. But I will not do it. Will.not.do.it.

We are having a mini-Superbowl party at our house on Sunday. We've invited over Ash and her dh and we are sending out kids to their house with Nanny who will babysit all 5 children. That way we can watch the game in peace. Should be fun. And Ash can tell Stephen how fun it is to go camping! ;)

Off to the doctor because I think Dex has another sinus infection (cough, cold, gross nose and 101.5*F fever).

Glo (aka Nosy Neighbour) quit her job so we went out last night to celebrate her re-joining the ranks of we desperate housewives. We went to the local Ale House. Lots of different conversations were going on at the same time so when Ash and Glo mentioned that I needed to go camping with them (I loathe camping as does Stephen does too) I said "Sure, why not?!" with bravado. I didn't realize but Glo then called her dh and had him book us all camping sites for August. When I arrived home just after midnight, there was a confirmation email from the WA State Parks department confirming my booking. YIKES! How will I tell Stephen? Glo's dh charged it to his credit card so I guess I need to pay him for it regardless if we go or not. We don't even have ANY camping gear except for a cooler and flashlights.

Anyway, I am still trying to figure out how to break the news to Stephen...

I watched Finding Neverland today and it was such a wonderful movie! No wonder it received an Oscar nomination. I loved it so much.

I watched James Frey on Oprah today. I guess I did not get the point of him being on there. Basically, she challenged and questioned some of the most dramatic parts of his book and called him a liar. I think she had him on to save face since she admittedly was embarrassed about supporting him and a lot of the book is not true. I wish she had just said that she no longer stood by him and left it at that. She looked petty and vindictive today IMO.

Nanny comes tomorrow. I have nothing planned except to return a pair of jeans to Costco. It was wishful thinking that a pair of junior jeans would fit me. :)

Kitchen Sink

See our shiny new sink?

Flylady would be proud!

Backup Plan

I have my backup preschool picked out (isn't it ridiculous that I even have to consider such things?!). It is a local co-op that my friend currently has her 4 year old dd in. I know a lot of people who have gone through it and the general consensus is that it is great for 3 year olds but not academic enough for 4 year olds. I just want to ensure that Cars in a school next year so I will apply there as well as at our church's preschool. I need to find out when we will be notified about acceptance to the schools.

Today was a glorious spring day (in mid-winter!). It was 58* up here! I even have a crocus blooming in the garden! Anyway, it was so sunny and warm that I took the kids on a long walk (about 2.5 miles) then I walked to pick Dex and Jax up from school (2 miles) and I play to walk with my neighbour tonight (3 miles). Wow - that is a lot of walking for me. Now if only I could stop eating so much.

Throwing Good Money After Bad

Stephen thinks the car is worth repairing so he is giving the dealership the go ahead. I am skeptical that it will be an easy fix that will be long lasting. Time to tighten our belts and start saving for a new car NOW.

And to top off this great day, Cars stepped in cat poop today when he ran across the neighbour's lawn while we were waiting to put Dex on the school bus (our next door neighbour's cat uses their lawn as a litter box). I did not realize of course until after we went back into the house and he ran up the stairs with his shoes on! Aargh! I spent the afternoon steam cleaning the stairs, washing the throw rugs from the front hall and scrubbing the floor. I tried to clean off his shoes but I started gagging. I will wait a day or so and then try again.

Geez, my life is so glamourous...

The Saab had died. We'll see if we can get it revived tomorrow. Otherwise we might be looking at a new car about oh, two years ahead of schedule. Friggin Lemon!

Sigh

Ok, just in case anyone did not realize, that last post was a tongue-in-cheek. I did not have an affair with my OB and I would not rather have abdominal surgery v laparoscopy.

Today, I printed off a copy of the "rules" for priority acceptance to the preschool at our church because I was hoping to send Cars there in the fall. Anyway, they look at "regular participation in parish life". This should not be a problem. I attend church most Sundays with the kids. I have the older two enrolled in RE and I am the supply/support person for Dex's class (I get the supplies together for the teachers each week and I fill in for them if they are away). I am a member of MOPS at our parish and I help out with the craft.

The part that will be difficult is the "planned giving amount" each year. Stephen is not attending church and said a few years ago that he will never give "another dime" to the church because they were using *his* money to pay for the lawsuits that they were party to by moving priests around from parish to parish, diocese to diocese rather than dealing with the problem priests. I do not work and I do not earn an income. He says his money is my money and I know that yet I feel very torn supporting the church when it goes against his wishes. So, I give some each week and feel guilty for supporting the church against his wishes and feel guilty because I feel I should give more (Catholics are great at guilt!). Anyway, I know the amount I give will not move us up on the preschool priority list. I hope Cars gets in anyway.

If that fails, I do not know what I will do. I will just have to find another preschool around with an opening and most likely it will be an afternoon slot because the morning slots will be full by the time I hear back from our preschool.

And the whole thing will be moot if Cars is not potty trained by September 1 anyway because he will not be allowed to go to school in diapers. Think I will get one of my three completely trained by the time they are three?!

It's over

The affair is over. It lasted just over six years. From the beginning, I was in awe of him. He was confident, assuring and patient. We met monthly in the beginning. Eventually he insisted that we see each other more often and so I found myself driving to meet with him every other week. Then that was not enough so we met every week! Soon, I had to take a break. For the couple of years we met infrequently. Then we started up again with the monthly meetings, which soon became bi-weekly until yet again we were seeing each other every week. I trusted him wholly and completely. I put my life in his hands and look where it has gotten me! I am disillusioned and disappointed. Numb and sore.

Yes it is true - *sob*. The rose-coloured glasses are off. My ob/gyn's stock has definitely fallen. He told me today, after I complained about some pelvic pain (I suspected a hernia - oh how I wished that were it!), that he believed the pain was a result of endometriosis on the c-section incision site. This is, btw, the incision that he made when he delivered Cars. At least I think it was from that incision and not the one from Dex because I don't recall having this pain back then...

I need to go back to see him in a couple of weeks so he can further determine if he is correct and if so, laparoscopy is the proposed course of action.

Oh, how I wish it were a hernia. Yes, abdominal surgery would be preferred rather than laparoscopy, the thought of which has brought about disillusionment and disappointment. The trust is gone!

The end of the affair.

It is bittersweet.

I taught Art Start in Dex's class today. We talked about negative space/background and the kids traced their hands then coloured in the background. We cut the hands out and mounted the page on coloured paper. They all turned out so well! Tomorrow I will be meeting the morning kindergarten Art Start mom and we will hang them outside the classroom.

I really enjoy teaching Art and I am planning to do it again next year in both Dex and Jax's classes. It is fun watching the kids create the work and get excited about their art. The kindergarteners especially!

The rain has stopped its constant barrage. It has been raining sporatically for the past day and a half although we did have a wicked rain/wind storm last night. There is a patch of blue sky out there at the moment and my backyard lakes are slowly disappearing.

We received our The Safe Side dvd and the kids and I watched it. It was a little corny at times but the kids were engrossed with it. It was reassuring to hear them give some tips that my kids had already heard from me. Interestingly, coming from someone else too just reinforced the concepts with them. Anyway, if you are interested in it, I would recommend borrowing from the library or video store rather than buying it. I don't imagine we will watch it over and over again.

Tomorrow I am teaching art in Dex's class. I need to leave shortly to get the supplies together so they will be ready when I arrive tomorrow afternoon. The morning class Art Start mom and I picked an easy one this month since the last two were time-consuming (lots of prep work too).

I took the kids swimming at the club yesterday. Surprisingly, it was not nearly as crowded as it was the day before.

I need to call HandyMan to come and install the new sink I bought on Sunday. He told me he is pretty confident that we will not have to replace the countertop when he removes the old sink although he cannot be sure how the old sink was installed because he could not find any "clips" or whatever. Please, please let this installation be a simple, straight-forward, two hour job because I do not want to pay for more than that!

Today is day 27 or something like that of rain. This is getting unbearable. Last night the rain turned to slushy snow for a short while. This morning, the sun has patches of blue but the clouds are quickly moving in.

Dex had a birthday party to attend yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese so I took Jax and Cars too so we could get out of the house. I dropped Dex at the birthday table and then tried to navigate around Chuck E. Cheese with the eleventy billion other parents who needed to get their kids out of the house too. I have never seen it so packed and I am certain they were over the max number of people so if the fire department had shown up they would have been in a pickle. It PISSED rain the whole time we were there else I would have taken Jax and Cars to the grocery store but I just did not want to get drenched going back to the car.

My neighbour and I decided to walk last night in spite of the rain/snow mix. We only managed 35 minutes though because we were soaked through.

Tomorrow is MLK day so no school. I cannot think of one place to take the kids that will not be uber-packed. Maybe it will stop raining long enough for us to run to the park with the scooters. Or maybe swimming at the club...? I will have to plan something.

Book club this evening was a lot of fun. Everyone enjoyed the book regardless of the current controversy surrounding it. I watched James Frey on Larry King last night but missed the last couple of minutes and did not realize that Oprah had called in the last couple of minutes to give her support to James Frey. Fortunately, I had also DVR'd it so I was able to go back and watch what I had missed (Stephen turned the channel to Project Runway (geez Santino pisses me off with his arrogance!).

Anyway, I love the women in my book club. They are a fun bunch and we always have such a good time. Maybe we should create a card club too so we can meet more often. Or Bunco (I don't get that game but lots of people love it!).

Tomorrow, Nanny is coming and I am going to get my eyes checked. I want/need new glasses. I hate the ones I bought last year. I hope I can get a nice pair within my benefits limit (gotta go to Costco, I guess). I also have to go to the Y to cancel Jax, Dex and Cars' Y memberships since we now belong to a new club, compliments of the Evil Empire. Well, Stephen's membership is compliments of EE. We pay separately for mine and kids under 9 are free.

Today is day 24 of rain. We are now tied for the second stretch of consecutive rain days ever. Now everyone wants to break the 33 day record so all of this rain, flooding, mud slides and gloom will not have been in vain. The lake down the hill from us is flooding and the multi-million dollar homes are in peril. Click here to see a slideshow of the flooding. My backyard is a small lake. I will try to post a picture of it tomorrow.

It is National De-lurkung week. Please say hey!

An acquaintance of mine, H., was diagnosed over the holidays with Dementia which is a rare, degenerative brain illness that causes dementia. H. is just 45 years old. One of her sons is a classmate of Jax.

The past two mornings, H. has been out for a walk and decided to stop by my house. Yesterday, I invited her in after she knocked on the door but she did not leave for over an hour and a half! She left only because I kind of ushered her out as I was taking Dex out to the bus for school. Then this morning, she knocked on the door and stepped right in when I answered. She took off her coat and shoes and looked at me. It was so bizarre. So I asked her if she wanted some coffee (I was just about to eat my breakfast) and she said yes. Again, she stayed until Dex left for school! I am afraid to answer my door tomorrow. I had not yet showered when she arrived because I had just finished exercising so I did not get to shower until the early afternoon.

The weird thing is that we aren't really friends. I mean we are friendly, say hello and chat about her kids (she loves to talk about them) but honestly I was so surprised to see her yesterday at my door. And again today.

Ash says H. is reaching out. Ash knows her so better than I do so I was wondering why H. is stopping by my house and not Ash's. Anyway, I hope I have the courage to tell her to tell her that I cannot entertain her if she comes by again tomorrow. Gotta bake and get ready for book club.

And speaking of book club, earlier today there were reports that Random House was offering people refunds on their copies of "A Million Little Pieces" but they are now denying that report. This is getting so interesting!

As Silvia mentioned in my blog comments yesterday, thesmokinggun.com has an article about James Frey and "A Million Little Pieces", claiming that he fabricated much of the book (their article here). It certainly changes ones view on the book, imagining that some was fabrication and not a "nonfiction" book as it was marketed.

Anyway, my dilemma is do I let the rest of the book club know before the meeting on Thursday so they can read the smoking gun article too or do I tell them afterwards? Everyone is so keyed up to discuss the book! I feel like I will burst their bubbles if I tell them about the smoking gun. Actually, I think I am just trying to save face because the book I chose last year for book club SUCKED and here I picked this awesome book and here it is - FAKE! At least this book should generate lots of discussion!

Today is the 21st straight day of rain. The weather forecast predicts rain everyday for the next 15 days which should break the all-time record for most consecutive days of rain (33 days (1/6 - 2/7/53)). It is getting so friggin depressing.

Book Club this week is at my house and we will be discussing "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. What a book! Everyone is excited to talk about it because it has affected each of us in different ways. No one has yet told me that they have hated it (I have read on forums and other places online of people hating the book).

I bought a red turtleneck sweater at Macy's with a gift card I received from my SIL. It is a lovely deep red colour (called claret). I was so taken with the colour that I did not look at the label and the friggin thing is made of cotton and rayon. I assumed it was just cotton but I should have known better because of the colour. I HATE RAYON. It shrinks. It wrinkles. It falls apart in the wash. Aargh. Of course I did not notice until after I had worn it. Maddening! And a waste of money!

There was a constant downpour of rain today. I think it let up a bit about 5pm but otherwise, it was pouring! I know you are thinking (Seattle - rain - duh!) but really it does not rain this hard that often. We just get rain often, not necessarily a lot of it at once. The rain this past week or so has been unreal. I hope it lets up a bit so we can get the kids outside on the weekend.

Tonight at the Sunday School planning session, the director of Children's Faith Formation almost screamed because there was this "thing" crawling across the floor. It was a Northwestern Salamander. This poor little black thing was walking slowly and purposefully across the middle of the floor in this big room. He was covered in dust bunnies so I wonder where he had been hiding. One of the Sunday School teachers and I took it outside. I am surprised that there even were things like that around here!

Today, a letter from the principal was sent home to parents to let us know that the county sheriff's office will be holding a meeting at the school tomorrow evening to discuss "the recent relocation of a level III sex offender to our area.". WTF?! What is it about our area?! That will make *5* registered sex offenders in the school's area. Unless this is about the rapist who moved here in November. But there already was a meeting about it at the library! There is no new info on the county website. I will see if I can get a babysitter to come so I can go to the meeting (it starts before Stephen gets home from work).

BTW, someone from Australia did a search on that same photo of my boys. Does this mean some sickos are passing the link around?! That makes 5 or 6 hits in two weeks. I have deleted the photo and most others of the kids off the blog but the if you google images, you can still see a little picture of them but not the full-sized image.

Had a bit of a scare this afternoon when I could not find Jax or Dex. They walked up to the park to meet me as usual but Jax realized that he had forgotten his book and wanted to go back to his class. Dex went with him and I told them I would drive to the school and meet them out the front (the park is behind the back school yard and they follow a path up there).

When I left the park, there was a huge traffic jam for some reason (25 cars on our end trying to get through a 4 way stop with many more cars coming from each direction) so it took me 8 minutes to get to the school. No Jax or Dex out front. By this time it is about 16 minutes after school has let out and it was pissing rain so the school was pretty much deserted. I parked the car and Cars and I ran to Jax's classroom door. No Jax or Dex.

I saw Ash talking to a teacher so I called to her and asked her if she had seen my kids. She said NO (she was standing right next to Jax's classroom door so I thought for sure she would have seen him) so I took off running to the office to see if they could radio the teacher's aide at the park (she goes to the park after school each day to ensure that all the kids who walk up to the park get picked up) to see if they had gone back up there.

As I am about to walk into the office I hear them page Jax to go to the office and I flip out - why did they do that?! (ok, breathe) Ash met up with me and told me that Gav's teacher was going to call the office to have Jax paged (ok, breathe). At that moment I see the teacher's aide from the park walk into the school without Jax and Dex (she walks stragglers back to the office). (ok, breathe, breathe). I ask her if I had seen my kids. She said yes, she sent them to the front of the school to meet me because she had not seen my car at the park and was wondering why they were walking back up there so late.

Just then, I saw them heading to through the front doors of the school (heavy sigh of relief) because they had heard the page. I scolded them about not doing what they were told to do "But you took so long to get here!" they protested. (ok, breathe).

My fear was that we would just keep missing each other going back and forth from the school to the park, never mind the fact that there are *4* sex offenders (3 are pedophiles) living less than 1 mile from the school.

So, we reviewed what they should have done (waited outside of the school) and what they will do next time, which is to wait outside of the school but if they are concerned go to the office because they can call me from there. Also, I will think twice about leting them go back alone for anything left behind.

Next I am ordering ""Protecting the Gift" because it is a good book and I need my own copy and The Safe Side - Stranger Safety which has been advertised over and over again on Nick Jr. Dex asked me to buy it earlier in the day, in fact.

This whole episode coming on the heels of me finding out that that twice in the past two weeks someone found a my blog via searching for "boys" and viewed a photo of my kids in a swimming pool has creeped me out.

Tomorrow we are back on our regular schedule. I have been sleeping in for the past two weeks so I hope I can get out of bed at 7am again!

I was reviewing my visitor's log and noticed that someone found my site by searching on boys. Creeped me out to no end so the specific photo that they were looking at has been deleted. Now I am questioning all of the photos I have put up here...

Happy New Year!

We had a blast at the party we went to last night. The kids managed to stay up to help ring in the New Year although Cars crashed shortly afterwards. It had poured rain most of the evening but stopped long enough for us to light off the last of the fireworks (they will be illegal by July 4th so we had to get rid of the stash).

Jax took this photo of us before we left.

With the beginning of a New Year here, it is of course time to think about resolutions or goals to achieve in the coming months. I am horrible at making and keeping resolutions. They are always the same anyway, lose weight, get organized, blahblahblah. I never make any action plans to go with these resolutions so of course I never keep them.

This year will be different.

First off, I would like to get fit. In the past I would say lose weight and I hope I do lose weight in my goal to become fit but that will not be my first priority. I have been walking regularly (semi-regularly these past two weeks though) with my neighbour and we cover 2-3 miles each night, depending on the weather. I can now walk up the huge hill from the school without feeling like I am going to die (have altered our course though and haven't walked the hill in a few weeks though since a rapist moved into a house along that route). Stephen and I have joined a fitness club (he says he will not go - his membership was free because it is a benefit from his work and I joined via his membership so I did not have to pay initiation dues) and I hope to work out at least twice each week. That is not often, I know, but until Cars is in preschool, it will have to do. Plus they have like 5 pools there so I hope to take the kids swimming at least once/week.

I need to eat better. I think I went a whole week recently without consuming a piece of fresh fruit or fresh vegetable. That is disgusting. I started looking at the sodium content in canned veggies and the corn syrup added to canned fruit and it gross. They are fine in moderation but my whole diet was processed food and it was not good. I am considering joining WW but my experience with them last time makes me a little hesitant to go back. They were readily encouraging people to consume artificial sweeteners such as aspartame and equal which I just cannot believe are good for you. Also, SOY SOY SOY was heralded as a fine substitution for other proteins. Never mind that SOY SOY SOY is very bad bad bad for people with thyroid problems which, no doubt, many of the WW members have (more info here if you are interested).

The cancer scare that I had at the end of the summer really scared the shit out of me. I know I am not doing all I can do to live my best life (ok, perhaps I am watching too much Oprah?) so I know I need to work harder at living and enjoying life. One big step was admitting that I no longer needed to go to counselling because I saw my ppd as an excuse not to move on. I figured as long as I had ppd then I could not do other things. One thing at a time blah blah blah. I knew I was better so I just had to cut the cord and move on.

So, besides getting fit and eating better, I have a few other small goals that I would like to achieve:
1) take a class (probably a beading class)
2) complete a big knitted project (perhaps a sweater or baby blanket)
3) roll over my 401k to an IRA (I have put this off for 6.5 years and for some reason this worries me)
4) have two parties in my home in 2006 (this is in addition to our annual July 4th bbq and Christmas dinner)
5) take a ferry ride (this terrifies me!)

So there they are...my goals for 2006.

Day O'Fun

Today I went shopping with Ash and Nosey Neighbour (I guess I could call her Glo). It was Ash's birthday and we all had gift cards to spend at the Mall. So, Glo and I drove together and met Ash at Macy's where I returned 4 gifts for Stephen (knives, crystal bar glasses, a shirt and some cologne - I sure struck out this year). Then we shopped for a few hours, had lunch at Cheesecake Factory then more shopping. It was more window shopping for me because I could not find anything I liked except for the turquoise leather jacket (it was gorgeous but definitely not in my $50 gift card budget!).

When I arrived home, Stephen was still out with the kids (he took them to the new Children's museum, the driving range and then to Applebee's for dinner) so I had a couple of hours to myself. I watched over an hour of TV without anyone asking to put on Spongebob or Danny Phantom or Dora or Diego!

At 8:30pm, Ash, Glo and Jan called from the bar at the plaza asking me to join them (they had dinner there with their families to celebrate Ash and Jan's birthdays). So I went (no walking with neighbour due to pissing rain). I had such a blast. It is so nice to have girlfriends to go and hangout with (sans children). That is something that I have really been missing in my life.

Another one of my Christmas gifts:


PEZ MP3 Player

Christmas Day was a blast. The kids loved everything they received. Many of the gifts I bought for Stephen are going back (I struck out big-time this year). I received some nice things including a lovely string of pearls that still need the clasp put on it so we are taking it back to the jewelery store tomorrow. They are so pretty!

Dinner was awesome. Stephen cooked prime rib with gravy, asparagus, mashed potatoes, mashed turnip (don't say EW!) and broccoli. I made the best every Yorkshire pudding ever! Not sure what was so different about it this year but it was delicious (I made individual pieces in muffin tins). Ash, her dh and kids as well as her MIL and SIL came for dinner. We all had a great time eating, drinking and being merry.

We were hoping to take the kids tubing this week but it has been so mild. We set a record high on Christmas Eve - 62 degrees. It has been raining and raining too so much of the snow in the pass has been ruined and lots of areas are under flood watches. Hopefully, it will get cooler by the end of the week so we can go then.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all!

Stephen wanted to wrap presents with the kids tonight. He gathered up the box of Christmas paper, ribbons, bows and tags and banished me up to our room, which was ok because I was able to work on a hat I am knitting.

After a few moments, Stephen came bursting into our room, demanding to know where the Santa paper was (I use plain red paper for Santa's gifts). I reminded him that he had put it in the box with the other paper but don't worry, it was in a plastic bag and he could just sneak it out. Too late! Jax had found it. Stephen was livid because he thought this was it and Jax would know there was no Santa. I was mad at him getting pissed with me when it was his fault. And nevermind that I don't think Santa should even wrap gifts (we have this discussion every year!). Santa never wrapped presents in our house but he did in Stephen's.

My mom once told me that she never wrapped Santa gifts because when she was a child, she noticed some paper that her mother had purchased but when Christmas morning arrived, the gifts from Santa was wrapped in that paper. That is when she knew there was no Santa. She never wanted this to happen to her kids so no Santa gifts were wrapped.

Fortunately, Jax did not notice that that paper was Santa's paper (I bought 3 huge rolls of it 3 years ago). But just to be sure, I went out tonight and bought two large rolls of plain paper that we will use for Santa gifts (btw, in my house Santa only brought one gift but not in Stephen's...hey! why does he get to keep all of his traditions?!) then hide in the garage rafters until next year, and not with the rest of the paper!

But now I am curious, does Santa wrap gifts at your house? Please let me know!

Ok, we have the Christmas menu set:

Roast Beef
Mashed potatoes
Mashed turnip (rutabaga)
Asparagus
Corn
Steaned broccoli
Yorkshire pudding
Gravy
Horse radish
Buns (not necessary but Stephen insists on it)

Ash is bringing a peppermint ice cream chocolate cake.

Yummy!

Random photos today...


Our shiny new faucet installed in our chipped and stained sink. Notice too that we have an extra hole now...

Jax's paperdoll that he created for his "Heritage" project. It is a voyageur

Pink Necklace

Felted bag that I knit for my SIL for Christmas

Danger, Will Robinson!

Emergency! Leaking kitchen faucet. Actually, I should write GUSHING kitchen faucet. Last night, Stephen noticed a lot of water under the sink. Turns out the kitchen faucet is GUSHING when you turn it on. YIKES! He then said he noticed some water under the sink last week. WTF?! So how much water damage do we have there. I mean it is GUSHING when you turn the water on.

I called Handy Man (who is now licenced Contractor as his paperwork has finally gone through) to see if he could come by and replace it because Stephen says he doesn't think he can do it (I think it will be easier than it looks). And he add$, while we are at it we might a$ well replace the kitchen $ink. Oh and maybe the countertop on the i$land where the $ink is $hould be replaced and let'$ think about rebuilding the i$land to $omething that more $uit$ our need$$$$$$ (hence the Handy Man, excuse me, Contractor, who is not available until after the holidays).

Contractor says the instructions for replace faucets are very detailed and straightforward so we should be able to do it ourselves. He will come by in the New Year to give us an estimate on the sink, countertop and rebuilding the island). In the meantime, I am off to Lowe's to buy a new faucet.

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning (actually, before the crack of dawn since it is close to the shortest day of the year) for a 7:30am hair appointment. Of course I have known for weeks that I needed a haircut but, as usual, left it until the next-to-last minute to call and voila - a 7:30am appointment was all that was left for today. And of course I could not wait a moment longer like say, Monday, to get an appointment at a normal time.

One benefit of arriving at the mall at Saturday morning at 7:25am is snagging just about the best parking spot at the mall.

We went to Stephen's work Christmas party at his manager's house. We had a hard time getting a sitter because Nanny is full-time Nanny to his manager's kids so she was watching them. We finally were able to get the teenager across the street to babysit after her basketball game (which meant we were going late).

She showed up at 7:30 and was in a pissy mood. She was pulled out of the game because she got kicked in the head by another player and the trainer thought she might have a concussion (great!). Her dad told her she could not go back in the game even though she insisted she was ok so she was livid with him.

Stephen went to talk to her mom to make sure she was ok to babysit if she had a concussion. Her mom said yes but they would come over and check on her a couple of times while we were gone.

We arrived home 4 hours after leaving and we found out that her mom had come over to babysit while her dad took her to the emergency room to check out her head! She was ok and came back here but yikes! I am sorry that I asked her to sit. Not because she does not do a good job but the fact that her mother had to sit my kids! I wish they had just called us to come home.

Now my concern is...should I have paid the mom? ;)

After constant dropped connections for the past week, I finally called the money sucking company that is Comcast and they sent a guy out to replace my 5 year old modem. So far I have maintained a constant connection for a whole seven and a half hours without one single disconnect. What is amazing too is that the guy showed up 2 hours before he was due to arrive. It's a Christmas miracle!

Speaking of Christmas, I braved the post office today and mailed off the last of the gifts that needed to be sent to Canada. I missed the guaranteed delivery by Christmas date (it was yesterday) but I am sure it will arrive on time anyway.

Tomorrow is Jax's class luncheon where everyone brings in foods from the country on which they did their presentation. We made Maple Shortbread Cookies, aka Canadian Shortbread 'Eh'. They are yummy!

Our drive to Vancouver and back was completed in 12 hours. We stopped and shopped for an hour and we stopped for lunch and dinner. We spent a couple of hours at Jean-Paul and Marilyn's too. Anyway, the drive was fine (it was a nice day) and the border crossing was quick and uneventful except when some guy with a suitcase approached the US checkpoint and 5 border guards came running up to him. That border crossing is unique because you can walk across the border there but the guy obviously did not see the signs that directed pedestrians to enter on the other side of the building.

Today I taught art class in Jax's class. We studied The Gleaners by Jean Millet. Then the kids drew pictures of themselves doing a chore or some work. It was fun to see what they came up with. The power was out at the school (and our house) so it was cold and dark in the classroom.

Just as I arrived Jax was just about to present his poster on Canada. He spent two weeks doing this project which took hours to do. He had to chose a country from his heritage and it was painful to get it done. I honestly thought it was too much work and too much to expect from Grade 2 students. Anyway, Jax talked about Canada and described his poster as his teacher lit it up with a flashlight (remember, no power). He was so cute and it was fun to see him remember to add some detail after reading what he had written. At the end, one kid pouted "You talked about all the things I was going to talk about!" (His parents are from Canada too).

After the art class, school ended so I went to pick up Dex and his teacher says "Dex, tomorrow you will be a better listener, won't you?". Oh shit, I thought but then she assured me it was the whole class and it was mostly due to the fact that the power was out except for the last 15 minutes of class.

Jax is finally over the stomach bug but mine is still bad. Cars got it sick on Saturday while we were in Vancouver. He kept saying "Mommy, tummy hurts! Doctor!" over and over again while clutching his stomach. We were down to our last diaper and luckily he was fine the last hour or so. I really did not think we would need more than 8 in 12 hours (plus I ripped the tabs off one). Dex and Stephen so far have been fine.

Tomorrow is Art Start in Dex's class so I spent much of today cutting out pieces for the kids to make this to carry home their snowman pot that they made last month. I had to get the supplies together for the morning class too - punching out over 600 circles for the mouth, eyes and flower for hatband. Yikes.

I also finished the necklace that I was commissioned to make. Re-finish I should say. I made it first last wee but the wire was too soft (I accidentally use .999 fine silver instead of .925 sterling silver.

This post is rambling so I will end it here... And I promise to update it more often.

It has been a very long week. Jax was home for three days with a stomach virus. I also have had it and it has not been fun. I think we are both on the upswing now and since we are driving to Vancouver tomorrow for the day, I hope no one else gets it! Oh, and Dex was pissy those three days that Jax stayed home because he figured Jax would be having more fun than him so he wished he were sick too.

I have my SIL in the Christmas draw so we are taking her gift to her as well as dropping off somethings that JP ordered on Amazon to be delivered here. Also, a suitcase/dufflebag that we borrowed from my mom when we were in Toronto in August. JP and Marilyn are flying to Toronto for Christmas next week so they can take the suitcase with them. We hope to buy a few gifts at the outlet store along the way so they can also take presents to Toronto for us (and my mom can wrap 'em!).

I wish I were more organized so we would not have to make this trip. Next year I am going to start my shopping in June!

We bought our tree this evening. It is about 8' tall and looks great. We'll have to wait until Sunday to decorate it.

Ok, off to bed and to Canada in the morning. How exciting and decadent to be going to a different country for the day! ;)

Today, I decided it was going to be my last visit to my crazy doctor. This week marks the second anniversary of my visits to her.

I cannot believe how far I have come in the last two years. Looking back, the feelings of despair and hopelessness that I had now seem so foreign to me. The frightening thoughts that my children would be better off dead (see post 50 things about me) or that if I stopped driving my car one day that I would never be able to drive again. Wondering how I would get through the next day or next hour, or next 5 minutes. I can remember the feelings of being afraid, scared, alone, insane, but I cannot feel those feelings like I did at the time.

Anyway, I walked into her office today and pronounced myself cured. I am so proud of myself for getting through this. Not unscathed of course. I think my marriage was severely impacted by it but we are working on it. I think too that some of the problems that Jax is experiencing at school are cries for attention that he has not received at home.

So, there it is. Upwards and onwards.