Cars refused a bottle again today (soy). I guess I will pump next time and see if he will take a bottle of EBM. *sigh* I am ready to wean him (for my own sanity).

Today was a gorgeous spring-like day. We tacked some cardboard up to the fence and Jax and Dex create some Picassos while I raked the front garden and picked up birch tree twigs and branches. Then we walked around the block and there are crocuses and daffodils in bloom everywhere. Funny, no tulips yet.

Oh, Cars can now sit up on his own. I mean from a lying down position. He of course has been sitting up for a while when propped up. I saw him crawling then he stopped and backed himself into a sitting position. This is way too early! Even super-strong Jax did not crawl or sit himself up this early. I wonder if it means he will walk earlier than Jax (who was just 10 months old).

Tomorrow is d-day. Stephen's first day back to work after 4 whole weeks with us. I hope I do ok. I am feeling anxious and some of the feelings of being overwhelmed are coming back. (biting nails)

Today was kind of a ME day. I went to a baby shower and while of course it was not for ME, it was nice to be kid (and husband) free for a couple of hours. Then I went out again in the evening for dinner with the Goddesses (notice, two D's in Goddess). Then we went to see a movie. Half of us bought our movie tickets before hand and so when the time came for the rest to buy them of course the movie was sold out so we ended up going to see another movie (were to have seen FIRST 50 DATES but we saw MOOSEPORT).

Oh and of course when it was time to pay for dinner, no one had cash and so everyone had to put their own portions on credit cards (except for me). Well two had brought check books but the place no longer accepts checks. What a mess. So by the time all was done, we were still short $7.76 PLUS the guy had no tip. I was ticked off because I had just a salad ($10) and water but I threw in extra money to cover the shortage so my $10 salad cost me $20. Next time I am asking for separate checks.

Cars refused to take a bottle while I was out. I wonder what we are going to do about that. Stephen tried a new type of soy formula. Maybe we should skip a bottle and go to a sippy cup?

On my way to a babyshower. I have a severe lack of dressy clothes. I have my black funeral/wedding suit and another black suit but nothing dressy that isn't black. If I get any money for my birthday I am going to buy myself a nice navy or red dress. Or maybe a skirt and sweater set.

I think I have a sinus infection. I will give it another couple of days to see if it clears up on its own or if it gets worse.

Dex did wonderfully at his eval this afternoon so the SLP said she is going to discharge him. He still is not talking perfectly but is "age appropriate" (still "f" for "th" and sometimes he still drops the S at the beginning of blends). He really is speaking so well. He even uses the word "actually" a lot which I think is a hoot.

Yesterday I splurged a little and bought this frog pot and plant at the neighbourhood gift shop. (They sell overpriced plants/ceramics/jewerly/pillows/etc). I took advantage of being child-free for 1/2 hour and zipped in there. Anyway, the plant is a Moonlight Philodendron and it was 1/2 price. The pot was 70% off so I think I got a pretty good deal. I had Stephen re-pot the plant today and it looks so great in the frog pot. Of course only today did I remember that Philodendron's are poisonous to children so I have to be sure to keep it out of reach.

No Nanny today. She had to work for her M-Th employer today (who also happens to be Stephen's manager).

Playgroup is her today. I haven't seen one of the mom's since just after Christmas! It will be nice to see everyone today (and have Cars show off his new crawling skill). :)

I started reading A Purpose Drivien Life. You just read one chapter each day (and the chapters so far have not been more than 5 pages). I am enjoying it and I consider it part of my therapy/healing.

I am feeling so much better than before. I know I am getting over this PPD. I don't feel the despair that I was feeling before. And I am not feeling as overwhelmed. Let's see what happens when Stephen goes back to work next week.

Today is the second-last day of Stephen's leave. Recall how I was bitching about him on the second day of the leave? Well no more! I am really going to miss him being around the house and especially splitting the driving/picking up of the kids at school.

Cars is sick. Poor baby has a very bad cold, a cough and green snot. Oh, and a fever...but that might be from his shots yesterday. He has cried most of the day when he hasn't been sleeping (which has not been often). I hope he is feeling better tomorrow...

Had to go to a Little League parent meeting tonight. I signed Stephen up for "Field Prep" which means he has to go to the games early each Saturday and rake the field and do the lines. Teeheehee...

Lent starts tomorrow. Still trying to decide what to give up. Chocolate? Nah. Coke? No, too many caffeine headaches. Computer time? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA nice joke

Let me sleep on it and see what I can come up with.

Still so very tired. Jet-lagged. And my legs ache. I feel asleep on the couch earlier but then Ash rang and woke me up so I think I only napped about 10 minutes.

Stephen's last few days of his leave and we are busy with appointments. He has been kind enough to run to Safeway at the moment to pick up some groceries. When he gets back we need to take Cars in for his 6 month appt (poor baby will get more shots!) then rush over to get Jax from school.

Tomorrow we have to take Dex for what will probably be his last Speech therapy appt. He is being re-evaluated on Friday by the school district. I know his speech has greatly improved but I am not sure if he is speaking well enough to be done with it...we'll see.

Stephen is going to the dentist for the first time in probably 3 years. I quit nagging him about it 2 years ago but then at the beginning of this month I said "You know, we are paying for that dental benefit for you that you are not using". I knew that would get him to go since he is frugal. lol

I need to make an appt for my eyes. I want new glasses and I know I need a stronger prescription. I am thinking of trying contact lenses...but the thought of taking them out completely grosses me out. ick ick ick

Ah, I didn't mention that the day Cars started crawling was also the day he fell off the bed in the hotel room. I was packing up and he was in the middle of the king-sized bed. I got distracted when Marlene called and I turned my back to him. A moment later I heard a thwack and I wondered which of our bags fell off the bed when it moved out the corner of my eye and I realized it was Cars! Oh, what a horrible mommy!! Fortunately, the bed was not very high, unlike ours at home. So no more leaving the baby on the bed.

Oh better run and pack the diaper bag.

Our vacation was great. Relaxing with no real plans other than to get a little sun, sit on the beach for a day or two and go to WDW on the 18th. We just did what we wanted when we wanted. It was wonderful.

Cars started crawling (forward!) while we were away and he also got his first tooth.

Dex loved floating in the hotel pool on his floaty and hitting people with his pool noodle.

Jax "snorgulled" in the pool and helped me collect dozens of itty-bitty shells on the beach.

Disney World was a huge hit. The kids rode 10 rides and two of them twice. Pirates of the Caribbean was the best though and they bought pirate hats, swords and eye patches. We stayed to the bitter end to get our $200.12 worth. The fireworks were spectacular. Before we left, Stephen was very skeptical and jaded about the whole Disney thing but already he is talking about going back in a few years. lol

It was wonderful to see Marc, Marlene, Melissa and Danielle. The girls are so grown-up now! I highlighted Melissa's hair while I was there. I never would have dreamed to colour my hair when I was in high school. Hell, I didn't dare do it until just before my 29th birthday. Anyway, they are so busy every night with volleyball and soccer. It was good to see them though. We used to see each other every 2-3 months when we all lived in the midwest.

Our trip home was long. Ft. Lauderdale to Minneapolis/St. Paul. MSP to Missoula, Montana and Missoula home. We had a 4 hour lay-over in Missoula and that has got to be the smallest airport in North America. The decor was definitely Mountain Motif. There were 3 full-sized stuffed bears (2 brown and 1 Grizzly) and stuffed heads of caribou, elk, deer, and ram. The bathrooms did not have any facilities for changing babies. The best part was that bottles of water were only $1.25 - an airport bargain!

When we arrived in Seattle, we were missing two bags - one suitcase and one that contained both Jax and Dex's booster seats. A 30-minute wait in line at the lost baggage claim found our bags waiting behind the counter for us. I don't understand that if they were there, why did they not just set them out the 15 feet on the belt with the rest of the luggage. Stephen thinks that the bags were probably accidentally loaded on the wrong flight and got to SEA before we did. Totally against the TSA rules and regulations though...

Most importantly, the time in the sun and away from here really lifted my spirits. I feel so much better...not quite back to "normal" but getting there.

Home again, home again. Jiggity Jig

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

Off for a dose of sunshine. You'd think I would be excited. Mostly I am stressed out and tired.

Back in a bit.

Sshhhhhhhhh! Listen. Do you hear what I hear? The sound of silence. Ok, it is the sound of me typing on the keyboard but...nothing else.

Stephen took Dex to speech therapy today and he took Cars along. Whoo-hoo. A whole 1.5 hours to myself. I will then go pick up Jax and Stephen will take Dex and Cars to the doctor (I think Dex has a sinus infection - he must have caught it from Trent). ;)

I am enjoying this peace and quiet. And I do not have to struggle with anyone before I dash out the door when it is time to get Jax. *sigh* of content

Ok I think we have gotten into a groove and we've stopped getting in each other's way. I am enjoying having him around and am far less stressed because we are breaking up the running around. Ah...so much easier to pick up a child from school without dragging one or two more along for the ride.

I'm about 1/2 packed for the trip. Still negotiating with Stephen about what we can and cannot carry with us. I think we need the booster/highchair which folds up and is portable. He thinks we can just hold Cars on our laps while we eat (we plan to eat several meals in our hotel room like breakfast and the occasional lunch (take up, not room service!). I'll keep working on him...

Thanks to all for thoughts and prayers for Jean-Paul and Marilyn.

Dex was able to sit in the dentist chair this time without freaking out although he was nervous. What a difference 6 months makes. The hygenist said that Jax needs sealants and then the dentist who is filling in came in and said he didn't. She said both kids have lovely teeth. I wonder where they got them from because both Stephen and I have terrible teeth! My plan is still to buy some Shania teeth some day...

Marilyn miscarried the baby. She is devestated. Jean-Paul is numb. :(

Ok, day 2 and he is doing a much better job today although I have told him he is spending too much time on the computer. He replied with only a raised eyebrow. lol Pot, meet Kettle... Anyway, he did take Dex to school and I didn't have to negotiate the pothole parking lot and then he went for groceries but took an hour and a half to pick up 10 items.

We booked our flights via NWA vacations and they stuck us on Continental and Horizon airlines which are not peanut-free. So this should be interesting and I will be making a huge stink if the passenger next to Jax ends up being offered some peanuts to eat.

Stephen thinks it is a good idea to rent a dvd player for BOTH of the bigger boys on the plane. We'll see. That means two more bags to carry around. So let's see...to carry onto the plane we will have 4 back packs, 2 dvd players, one car seat and one baby while herding two young children. Can you just see us coming?

My hair needs to be cut very badly. Looks like I cut it myself. Plus I need a dye job. I will have to do it sometime tomorrow or Thursday...

I have been doing chin and neck exercises like crazy, trying to get rid of my waddle. I will get rid of it!

Went to Old Navy last night to get Jax a bathing suit. They didn't have any for kids larger than 5T which I think was odd. I mean why have little kids swimsuits but none for bigger kids? I did try on some cool cargo pants and I wanted to buy them but then I didn't know what kind of shoes to wear with them. Then again, I am sure I am also way too old to be wearing them too! LOL

Well almost time to get Jax from school. Stephen buggered off to the video store and of course is not back. So we are back to being pissed off at him...

Ok, Stephen is on day ONE of his leave of absense and he is pissing me off already. First he is encroaching on my computer time. Then he thinks it is his job to take care of Cars all the time which is just pissing Cars off. *sigh* This is going to a very looooong month.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror today and was aghast to see that I have a waddle! Eeep! Time to start doing neck and chin exercises! Man, that makes me look way older than any grey hairs or wrinkles do.

Survivor All-Stars is on right now and I love it already. No one trusts anyone, I hate Rob already (again) and Richard is naked. This is gonna be a great one!

Got a long list of things to be done this week. Nothing of which can be WHACKED unfortunately. But then after we are in Florida the only thing I *have* to do is feed my kids and put sun screen on them. Other than that I can do sweet bugger-all if I chose to do so.

Waxing went as well as waxing can go. Actually it didn't hurt much but then I was used to Sweet Simplicity and Nads... Now I am all set for my bikini (yeah right). ;)

Ok, Dex is registered for the new preschool. What a huge relief. Even better because Stephen was the one who was out the door at 4:00am to line up at the school. Ash stayed out there all night as did several others since she was #11 on the list!

Stephen took Jax and Dex to the "game place" (like bigger, older kids' Chuck E Cheese) and he lost Jax's coat while there. So when he got home I went out and bought Jax a new coat in case the other one does not show up. It seems that someone probably grabbed Jax's coat and left theirs behind as they did find a similar but much more worn coat. I have our last name and phone # in ours but I don't imagine anyone will call.

I had a very pleasant phone conversation with an online friend today. She likened it to a first date and it kind of felt like that although she is easy to talk to! lol

I am getting a bikini wax tomorrow morning. I hope it doesn't hurt...much. I think I should take some ibuprofen before I go to help reduce swelling. Or is it aspirin? Hmmm...I'd better go look it up.

Jean-Paul told me that Marilyn's ultrasound did not look good and they go back again in a week. I guess the baby's hr is slow again like last time. :(

Cars is crying so off to see what is up...

Colouring Colour Neighbour Honour Odour <--Just for Katie

For the life of me I cannot spell those words without the U. Besides, that is the way they should be spelt. Once I worked with a guy who told me that the U was stupid and didn't know why the British spell them that way. I said because that is the *correct* spelling and he insisted that it wasn't. I said they ought to know since they invented the language. He still didn't understand. That also reminds me of the time in McD's when this elderly woman next to me started complaining that the McD's employees were all "foreigners" who didn't even speak "American".

Cars is puking puking puking. I am trying to figure out what I ate that would cause him to puke so much. I gave him his meds today and I have not had any cheese or milk...although I did have some chocolate cake with chocolate icing which was made from butter so I guess that's it. Sorry buddy.

Stephen's leave of absense is a paternity leave that every employee at his company gets when they have a child. It is four weeks of paid leave. He chose to take it now rather than when Cars was first born because my mom was here then and we didn't need him to take it then. We first thought he could take it in April or June or some other nice-weather month but with my PPD I told him I needed him to take it now. Well I actually wanted him to take January off but he was working on a big project which was wrapping up in January so we decided that February would have to do and that's when we decided also to hire Nanny to help out on Fridays.

Tomorrow is the big preschool registration day. My plan is this: to get up at 5am and go to the NEW preschool. If there is a HUGE line and I know I will not get in, I will then head over and line up at our current preschool. That way I have covered all of my bases. I will also have to take Cars with me since I don't really want to pump a few bottles tonight. I don't think my poor nipples could take that much pumping. And once again I didn't pre-plan...

I bought two bathing suits today at Target. They look ok on me. I felt like that character Cathy from the comics with all her angst in trying to find a bathing suit. I had no intentions of buying on at Target but I found two that looked presentable on me (if you don't look at the huge belly) and the two of them were less than I was planning to spend on a decent one from Lands End.

My brother is too much. He didn't tell my SIL that we were going to spend two nights with them when we are in Florida. Aaargh. So I guess we need to look for a hotel for those two nights. She said she didn't mind but really what else could she say? I should have known better and talk directly with her than relying on him.

I called the outlaws and told them we were going to Florida. Stephen wasn't going to tell them until we got back. I know she would have had a fit if we didn't tell them until then, especially if she heard about it from my mom.

Playgroup today was at Leslie's - 30+ miles away. It is a drag driving there and back for such a short time. Jax didn't have school today so at least I didn't have to leave early to rush back to pick him up. She and Sarah gave me a crap load of clothes for Cars so that's good. I will be all set once we hit 12-18 months because I still have most of those clothes. I need to finish packing Sarah's newborn and 3-6 month clothes back up and give them back. Wish I could WHACK that off the list...

Nanny is here colouring with the kids right now. I don't feel like doing anything although I do need to go get groceries, pick up Dex's immunization chart, buy a bathing suit, etc

I had a really bad night last night. I went to bed at 8pm but could not sleep. I had a migraine and my mind was racing. I got up and ate some dinner (why didn't I eat sooner? I don't know). Today is Stephen's last day before his leave of absence. I hope that he is home at a normal time. I haven't seen him all week. Not sure if I could manage if he traveled for a living!

Power went out for a short time in the night and the wind is still going stong. At least the rain has stopped for now. The backyard "pond" has not yet drained. I guess it will stay that way until May.

Well, off to make a hair appointment and perhaps an appointment for a bikini wax (no Brazilian wax for me thanks).