Two thousand and seventeen has been ok. I am trying to be more positive about things since 2016 sucked so much. However, given the political climate, it is easy to be disheartened. I do march in the Womxn's March in Seattle on January 21, 2017 to march for peace and love. I know some were protesting the President but that is not while I was there. Carried a sign saying "we are all one" and a second sign that said "seriously?".  So many pro-science people and a LOT of Republicans how cannot believe the circus that is happening.

Anyway, life is good for us right now. Jax seems to be less stressed about eating. Academically he did awesome in his first semester at university. He now has a 10 hour/week job making videos for the university's news service and he seems to be doing well with his food issues (anxiety) surrounding the dining hall. Dex is working hard in his junior year. He is doing SAT prep classes so he is pretty busy with that and his training (track season starts soon). He did drop French after the first semester because he was overwhelmed with homework and that is the class that made the most sense to drop. Cars is captain of his hockey team this year. He is having a spectacular year in hockey! He has also gotten serious about school and is doing well in his classes, rarely misses turning in assignments and he interested in math and science. Hurray!

Christmas has come and gone. We are just days away from the end of 2016 and I can say GOOD RIDDANCE to it. It was not a fun year and we had some sadness, some heartache and a lot of little shitty things happen. My MIL passed away, Jax had that allergic reaction and is now suffering the consequences of that (high anxiety). My identity was stolen and a MasterCard was opened in my name. Now I will have to place a freeze on my credit which will be PITA every time I need to apply for credit.

Mid-year I had a root canal which turned out to be a fractured root so an aborted root canal lead to an extraction and dental implant (still an ongoing process).

The daughter of a good friend was diagnosed with leukemia. While she has "won the lottery of cancers" according to her doctors, treatment still has not been easy for her or her family. Six months down and two years to go.

A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with some uber rare form of breast cancer. She has had a mastectomy and is still awaiting word to find out if her insurance will cover the cost of the treatment and genetic testing.

My FIL is feeling lost without my MIL. I think it is so very sad that he put up no Christmas decorations. I know he was not feeling it but it breaks my heart a little.

The list of celebrities who have passed away this year has also been shocking. Maybe it is that most of them are all of a certain age but so many seemed to have passed prematurely. The ones that hurt me the most were Prince, Alan Thicke (I know you are thinking WTF?) and Carrie Fisher.

I have not been able to keep up with regular exercise or diet and it really has affected my mood. Or maybe it is (peri?)menopause? Whatever the reason, I am grumpy and have no patience for people. I have unfriended dozens of people from Facebook for infractions such as me believing they owe me an apology, to their politics (sorry but I do not believe that Trump's business "acumen" is just what we need in the White House), to people slighting other friends.

Let's hope that the remaining days of 2016 are not completely awful and pray, hope and wish that 2017 will not be nearly as bad as we fear.

Jax called me this morning to tell me that he thought he was having an allergic reaction and he was at the hospital. It seems it was not an allergic reaction but an anxiety attack. He told me that he had been struggling with eating from the dining hall since his reaction in October. When he called he was in the waiting room. Clearly they did not think he was having an allergic reaction because he had been waiting for over an hour. He was much calmer, had NOT taken epinephrine and had decided it was probably just anxiety.

He hasn't been sleeping much and yesterday was his big project where he was producer on a live TV show that the school of broadcasting put on (he did an awesome job). However, he stayed up very late to finish some work that he got behind in in the days leading up to the show and then he had a big cup of coffee (he rarely drinks it) and then started questioning whether the food he ate may have had peanuts in it or not. So the lack of sleep and the caffeine heightened his anxiety.

So after that hour and still siitng in the ER waiting room, he told them he was leaving and headed to the school's health and counseling office and was checked out by a nurse who said he was physically fine but she helped him make an appointment to see a counselor and a nutritionist. He also mentioned that he is not going to eat in the dining hall for a few days until he is less worried. He will go to the grocery store and pick up some food. I hope he remembers to get some protein! He is good about eating enough veggies and fruit.

I am so worried about him. Thankfully he will be home in just over a week and he has a month off school. Also, he has an appointment with the allergist scheduled for the week after he gets home just to talk to her and see if he needs to get additional Rx to maybe carry some prednisone around with him if it happens again.

He had some (a lot!) of anxiety around his allergy when he was 9, which is the age when children realize that death is real and permanent. He had stopped eating outside of the house and lost a lot of weight. I took him to counseling for a year where he learned some great techniques to calm himself down. To this day I know he uses those techniques but this is different since it stemmed from a REAL reaction. I am so worried about him!

Overwhelming sadness has enveloped me. I am sad about the election. I mean of course I did not want Trump to win but the vile discourse that plagued the whole process and the promise to build a wall and do something about Muslims makes me feel so disheartened. I did go to a peaceful "assembly" on Saturday and I made a sign that read " In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends" MLK Jr. It was just a small thing but it was good to be in the company of others who want people to love their neighbours and not kick them out of the country.

Last week I had a call back on my mammogram, which lead to additional pictures and an ultrasound. The radiologist said "well looks like nothing but come back in 6 months"  then I received the letter that stated that it is is "probably benign" has not filled me with a lot of confidence. Especially after hearing word today that a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. A very aggressive form of breast cancer. That fucking sucks!

Maybe I just need to keep these words in mind...

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Desmond Tutu

I am in a ROTTEN mood today. Not sure what is going on but watch out! My kids got the brunt of it today when the toilet got clogged. Our "uncloggable" toilet. This is probably the 10th or 12th time is has clogged since it was installed during the bathroom remodel 3 years ago (or was it 4?). In any event, it got clogged and I got blamed for buying the wrong toilet paper. Uh-oh. Not a good day to blame me for something that I did not do. I probably owe them an apology for my choice language but I am not there yet. In fact, I am cooking dinner and as soon as it is ready I am out.the.door.  I think I might go to the gym or out shopping. We'll see how much worse the mood gets in the next 30 minutes.

Well, it finally happened. Jax had an allergic reaction to peanuts last night, while 270 miles away at university. He did not (yes, you read that right, did NOT) use his EpiPen because he did not initially realize that it was an allergic reaction and then he thought might not be ~that~ bad. So he took Benadryl and waited but it got worse so he had a friend drive him to the ER. Once there, he said he was having an allergic reaction to peanuts and they took him in straight away. His symptoms started with an itch throat a sore stomach. Then a cough and pressure in his ears. By the time he arrived at the ER his face is beet read and he had hives on his face.

They admonished him for not using his EpiPen. He was given epinephrine, a steroid, Benadryl and pepcid and he stayed for observation for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night, he had a biphasic reaction and he called me at 4:30AM and asked what he should do! OMG! I told him EPIPEN then 911. He told me he was going to try to wake someone up to get a ride. I wanted to reach through the phone and grab him by the throat. Anyway, he did end up calling 911 then using the EpiPen (wrong order!!) and his roommate waited outside with him until the ambulance arrived. Again, he was treated with antihistamines and released after a couple of hours. He has to fill 3 Rx for steroids and the antihistamines.

So, he thinks he reacted to either corn bread or the dressing on a shrimp salad from the dining hall at the school. His plan is the meet with the chef to find out if there would have been any chance of cross contamination. He has an app from the school that lists all ingredients of all of the food and thus far (7 weeks) he has been eaten everything else safely. Oh not! What if it is a new allergy to shrimp? Hmmm... **edited to add on 10/161/6 that he found out the salad had peanut oil in it.

Anyway, I just cannot believe that it happened yet I knew it was bound to happen sometime. I am so happy that he is ok and pray that he never has another reaction.

Lots of to-do's now to be done (transfer his EpiPen Rx to a national pharmacy so he can refill it, contact the university's health and counseling services to let them know what happened, contact the chef at the dining hall to determine what he reacted to, review his emergency plan and most of all, always use the EpiPen first).

Well, it finally happened. Jax had an allergic reaction to peanuts last night, while 270 miles away at university. He did not (yes, you read that right, did NOT) use his EpiPen because he did not initially realize that it was an allergic reaction and then he thought might not be ~that~ bad. So he took Benadryl and waited but it got worse so he had a friend drive him to the ER. Once there, he said he was having an allergic reaction to peanuts and they took him in straight away. His symptoms started with an itch throat a sore stomach. Then a cough and pressure in his ears. By the time he arrived at the ER his face is beet read and he had hives on his face.

They admonished him for not using his EpiPen. He was given epinephrine, a steroid, Benadryl and pepcid and he stayed for observation for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night, he had a biphasic reaction and he called me at 4:30AM and asked what he should do! OMG! I told him EPIPEN then 911. He told me he was going to try to wake someone up to get a ride. I wanted to reach through the phone and grab him by the throat. Anyway, he did end up calling 911 then using the EpiPen (wrong order!!) and his roommate waited outside with him until the ambulance arrived. Again, he was treated with antihistamines and released after a couple of hours. He has to fill 3 Rx for steroids and the antihistamines.

So, he thinks he reacted to either corn bread or the dressing on a shrimp salad from the dining hall at the school. His plan is the meet with the chef to find out if there would have been any chance of cross contamination. He has an app from the school that lists all ingredients of all of the food and thus far (7 weeks) he has been eaten everything else safely. Oh not! What if it is a new allergy to shrimp? Hmmm... **edited to add on 10/161/6 that he found out the salad had peanut oil in it.

Anyway, I just cannot believe that it happened yet I knew it was bound to happen sometime. I am so happy that he is ok and pray that he never has another reaction.

Lots of to-do's now to be done (transfer his EpiPen Rx to a national pharmacy so he can refill it, contact the university's health and counseling services to let them know what happened, contact the chef at the dining hall to determine what he reacted to, review his emergency plan and most of all, always use the EpiPen first).

Well, it finally happened. Jax had an allergic reaction to peanuts last night, while 270 miles away at university. He did not (yes, you read that right, did NOT) use his EpiPen because he did not initially realize that it was an allergic reaction and then he thought might not be ~that~ bad. So he took Benadryl and waited but it got worse so he had a friend drive him to the ER. Once there, he said he was having an allergic reaction to peanuts and they took him in straight away. His symptoms started with an itch throat a sore stomach. Then a cough and pressure in his ears. By the time he arrived at the ER his face is beet read and he had hives on his face.

They admonished him for not using his EpiPen. He was given epinephrine, a steroid, Benadryl and pepcid and he stayed for observation for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night, he had a biphasic reaction and he called me at 4:30AM and asked what he should do! OMG! I told him EPIPEN then 911. He told me he was going to try to wake someone up to get a ride. I wanted to reach through the phone and grab him by the throat. Anyway, he did end up calling 911 then using the EpiPen (wrong order!!) and his roommate waited outside with him until the ambulance arrived. Again, he was treated with antihistamines and released after a couple of hours. He has to fill 3 Rx for steroids and the antihistamines.

So, he thinks he reacted to either corn bread or the dressing on a shrimp salad from the dining hall at the school. His plan is the meet with the chef to find out if there would have been any chance of cross contamination. He has an app from the school that lists all ingredients of all of the food and thus far (7 weeks) he has been eaten everything else safely. Oh not! What if it is a new allergy to shrimp? Hmmm...

Anyway, I just cannot believe that it happened yet I knew it was bound to happen sometime. I am so happy that he is ok and pray that he never has another reaction.

Lots of to-do's now to be done (transfer his EpiPen Rx to a national pharmacy so he can refill it, contact the university's health and counseling services to let them know what happened, contact the chef at the dining hall to determine what he reacted to, review his emergency plan and most of all, always use the EpiPen first).

My mother-in-law passed away on October 2nd. We knew it was coming. She had cancer that was spreading and no chemo was keeping it in check. She still passed away sooner than expected and it is always hard, no matter if you know it is coming or not.

Here is her obituary:

Peacefully at home on Sunday, October 2, 2016 in her 78th year.  Mary, beloved wife of Gerry for 54 years.  Loving mother of son M and his wife M, son S and his wife Pez, and son G and his wife T.  Cherished grandmother to L, S, Jax, Dex, Cars, A, and V.  Daughter of the late Frank and Agatha Pocisk.  Dear sister to A.  Predeceased by her twin J and siblings F and E.  Aunt to E, E, B, P, J, A-Marie, and M.  Mary will be sadly missed by family and many friends from her years of teaching, service, faith, and travel.  With passion and enthusiasm, Mary inspired friendships that lasted over 50 years.  Mary loved teaching as much as she loved learning.  She cooked from scratch to celebrate family and friends with food and libations.  She read voraciously and coached her students to develop self-confidence through books.  Devoted to her faith, she turned compassion into service her whole life.  She practiced humility but took pride in her family.  Mary took bridge seriously and played it loudly. She traveled, enjoyed bread and cheese on the Champ-Elysees, pasta in Rome, sampled spices in Turkey and partook Pina Colada in Hawaii. She was a joy to family, friends, and everyone she met.  Visitation at the FUNERAL HOME, on Wednesday October 5, 2016 from 3-5 & 7-9pm. Funeral Mass  on Thursday morning at 10:00am in St. Catholic Church. Interment Cemetery. Reception to follow at the funeral home after the burial.