So it has been a rough start to my mom moving into assisted living. They went on a lockdown a few days after she went in because so many residents had the flu (12 hospitalizations and 9 others sick at the time the lockdown started). It went on for 2 weeks because more and more residents kept getting sick. Thankfully my mom did not. Anyway, they finally lifted it but my mom had spent two weeks in her room, brooding and feeling sorry for herself and somehow has convinced herself that two of her doctors are "screwing her". OMG, she does not talk that way usually.

The rheumatologist is lowering the prednisone that she is one (still a huge dose) and she thinks she will therefore lose the little bit of peripheral vision that she has left. Also, usually when the prednisone dose goes down, her insulin dose has to go down as well. However, the assisted living centre needs a specific note from her doctor every time there is a change. The doctor says she will give them a verbal ok but they want a note and the doctor won't just write a note (without my mom being seen) to do that and my mom is livid. So much so that she wanted to fire her doctor and took a friend in with her for support do to just that. The doctor told my mom she knew she had a problem with her but the doctor did not have a problem with my mom. She then explained why she would not just write a note without my mom being seen and that just because the prednisone went down does not mean the insulin has to (my mom rants on and on about how the prednisone's diabetes is different than her diabetes!!).

Anyway, after the appointment, my mom's friend told my mom that the doctor's explanation made sense and my mom became angry and said that "Barb is now on Dr. Iwasa's side!". OMG, there are no sides! It is just the doctor, you know, the one with the medical degree, doctoring and being responsible and not bowing to her geriatric patient's whims.

So again, I am concerned about my mom's mental functioning. She is paranoid and seems incapable of rational thought at times. She has become belligerent and argumentative. It might be the meds or stress or maybe just old age causing some dementia. It is sad and scary. My cousin asked my mom if she wanted to live the rest of her life as a cranky person, yelling and arguing with everyone. Because that is what she has turned into. I so wish that I lived closer so that I could help ease everyone's burden and help my mom out. This is really hard for everyone and my mom, I know, is scared and worried all the time (she was like that anyway) and this has just been a harder transition than we were all expecting.

I am getting ready to have to go visit her again. At the very least, we will make a family trip this summer but I imagine I will have to go before then.

New Year marks 11 years...

I started this blahg 11 years ago this month. I just re-read my first post and I guess I had a previous blog that I don't even remember. I think I started complaining in it and decided that was not the tone I wanted but I am not really sure ... it is funny how we can forget things.

I will be 50 in a little bit - 86 days to be precise. I don't feel that old. I remember why my dad turned 50 (I was 16) and I teased him relentlessly about being 'half a hundred' and '5 decades'. He would get irritated with me. I wonder if he felt as young then as I do now.

I am trying to decide what I am going to do to celebrate my 50th birthday. It is definitely a milestone that needs recognition. A couple of years ago I started a 50 by 50 list but I think I only ever wrote 10 things on it. Too late for a new one?